Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Rosa Parks Is A Lot Like A Malicious, Omnipotent Virus

Sorry, PC users--nine million of you are carrying a worm on your computer that could do just about anything and cannot be stopped.

For all of you out there unable to get a handle on the gravity of this situation, imagine instead this comparable, if dumbed-down, scenario:

Alien space ships land on top of nine million buildings across America. Each mysterious, impregnable ship contains a small worm that slithers out unnoticed one day, joins up with the other 8,999,999 little worms, and forms a giant laser-shooting, atom-bomb-shitting, fabulously wealthy, indestructible Voltron space worm that even Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot defeat.

Well, that's what I might compare the situation to, anyway, were I so inclined; others aren't quite as talented, intelligent, or handsome as I am:
“Yes, we are working on it, as are many others,” said one botnet researcher who spoke on the grounds that he not be identified because of his plan. “Yes, it’s illegal, but so was Rosa Parks sitting in the front of the bus.” (courtesy nytimes.com)
Hmmm...is it? I suppose it could be, if the master villain behind this worm scheme is doing all this crazy bullshit in the name of advancing human rights, but I really doubt this is the case.

Or does Mr. Anonymous Botnet-Researcher know something we don't?

Perhaps we should arrest him, probe him, insert a microchip into his brain for no reason, and then ask him what he knows about the benevolent goals of the enemy.

If that doesn't work, let's put Bruce Willis on the case.


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