Sunday, November 8, 2009

"Hello, Police?"

"Yes, it's an emergency. I was online tonight and somebody mentioned that Chad Michael Murray is a douche. I had no idea who he was, so I looked him up and this is what I found:"

[Reads this link in its entirety]

"Yeah, I know, this girl--nay, 25 year-old woman--has got a Chad Michael Murray fetish that I fear just won't quit until she literally owns his bloody, douchey heart and secrets it away in her hope chest. I think he's in grave danger."


"Yeah, I'll hold."



Anonymous said...

omg please can i fuck u i wanna suck your dick nipples lick and kiss every part of u pleeeeaaaaase

Goodtime Charlie said...

please do; i'm in room 411, holding a martini the size of the eiffel tower and balancing an elephant on my phallus. hurry.