Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The Phoenix is...Plummeting?

Since I can never be sure how often my monthly Joaquin Phoenix fanzines get passed around and/or re-gifted, it's hard to tell how many of you have been keeping tabs on him recently.

For those of you in the dark, he recently retired from acting to become a professional musician. Even more recently, he was videotaped rapping at a club in Las Vegas.

I'm a firm believer that people should do whatever they want to do and devote themselves passionately to that cause, so, you know, I support his odd decision--as long as he is never allowed to play in a music venue that I could not also perform in with my merry band of kitchen-pot-banging retarded street urchins.

What recently struck me about this whole debacle, however, is how odd it is that he and Heath Ledger are both guilty of letting a movie role too-profoundly affect their lives. Heath was irretrievably sucked into the Joker monster; Joaquin now thinks he is the second coming of Johnny Cash.

I can hear his inner monologue now, as clearly as a whisper from the Lord:
"Hey--Cash was a nobody who just did it, man, just tried it, and it worked. And then he just just loaded himself up with amphetamines and whiskey and the music, adoration, pussy, and money just kept pourin' in...hmmmm...I could do that! That'd be way cooler than this shitty acting gig!"
Why is being a millionaire film actor lusted after by women across the globe not enough for successful male actors these days? Why do so many of them want to be musicians?

And why is should-be-double-Oscar-winner (2008) Casey Affleck shooting a movie about this whole Joaquin Phoenix affair? Is he in on the joke? Is he in on the madness? Does he really not realize that, either way, the movie will suck? Is he also guilty of trying to become someone else--his older brother--by directing a surprisingly-excellent movie?

I cringe for the end of this sordid affair. In the meantime, back to the March issue of Rock Me, J-Babe...


No comments: