Christopher Robert Metsos, the 11th suspect in the alleged Russian spy ring who was arrested in Cyprus yesterday, has gone missing, authorities said.
The picture drags along the ground like a fresh corpse, treating its own myth as homework and the participants as burdens, while feeling around a fantastically wasted world of weathered environments and ornate set design.
-Brian Orndorf, brianorndorf.com
Where to start with this one? How about this: If any movie ever warranted a class-action lawsuit against the filmmakers, it’s The Last Airbender.More after the jump...
-Keith Phipps, AV Club
A shot of whiskey backed up with a shot of pickle brine tastes good (way better than it sounds), but I feel as if there's something more to the pickleback: sentimentality, comfort. The pickleback is the macaroni and cheese of the cocktail world.Hmmm...while that last claim may indeed be a disturbingly accurate description of this horrid drink's place in the current cocktail hierarchy, when you think about how much salt and shittiness is in Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, why is that designation meant to imply it's something people should be drinking?
(courtesy Max Watman, HuffPo)
SACRAMENTO, Calif. (AP) - As electronic highway billboards flashing neon advertisements become more prevalent, the next frontier in distracted driving is already approaching - ad-blaring license plates.
The California Legislature is considering a bill that would allow the state to begin researching the use of electronic license plates for vehicles. The move is intended as a moneymaker for a state facing a $19 billion deficit.
The A-Team has yet to make back half of its production budget in two weeks on over 3,500 screens. Add in marketing costs of $5 trillion and this bitch is in trouble.
Prince of Persia cost $200 million (plus marketing) and has only reaped $80 million so far--in four weeks on over 2,600 screens. Maybe a hog-wild Iranian box office will balance America's extreme disinterest?
Armed bandits abducted and robbed Party of Five star Jeremy London and forced him to smoke drugs during a harrowing five hour ordeal in Palm Springs, California, police have revealed to RadarOnline.com.
London, 37, was attempting to change a flat tire on his vehicle when a man stopped to help him, outside the Bahama Hotel & Apartments on North Palm Canyon Drive, late on the evening of Thursday, June 10.
Puppy Thrown at German Biker Gang
A German student "mooned" a group of Hell's Angels and hurled a puppy at them before escaping on a stolen bulldozer, police have said.The man drove up to a Hell's Angels clubhouse near Munich, wearing only a pair of shorts and carrying a puppy.He dropped his shorts and threw the dog, escaping on a bulldozer from a nearby building site.He was arrested later at home by police. The 26-year-old is said to have stopped taking depression medication.
States with the lowest percentage of college-degree holders
Georgia 34.0% Republican
Kentucky 32.2% Republican
Mississippi 31.7% Republican
Tennessee 31.3% Republican
Texas 30.7% Republican
Arizona 30.7% Republican
Alaska 30.5% Republican
Oklahoma 30.3% Republican
New Mexico 28.5% Democrat
Nevada 28.2% Democrat
West Virginia 28.2% Republican
Arkansas 25.9% Republican
...according to a News Corporation wire report, the Rocket Man, 63, serenaded the 400 guests into the wee hours Saturday night to celebrate the marriage of Limbaugh, 59, to Kathryn Rogers, 33, in the Ponce de Leon ballroom of Florida's fabled Breakers hotel in Palm Beach. Sir Elton's fee: $1 million, the report notes.
Amid dozens of giant bouquets of white roses (and very tight security), reports the Palm Beach Post, guests at the wedding included former Bush adviser Karl Rove; actor-politician Fred Thompson; former Kansas City Royals slugger George Brett; Fox News commentator Sean Hannity; former New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani; New England Patriots owner Bob Kraft; former Clinton adviser James Carville and his wife, GOP analyst Mary Matalin; and golfer Tom Watson. A wedding guest also tells PEOPLE that among the others was Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas.
1. Miley is way less attractive in the face than I remember and this disappoints me twice as much as it may disappoint you because she was totally on my list of post-career-collapse conquests and now I'm not so sure. My world is being shaken like a snow globe right now.4. This girl is worth more than $25 million and I can't afford a used taco right now.
2. I can't believe neither Miley nor her hair-stylist/best-friend have iPhones. Have they not heard of them yet? Are they still on Sprint because they didn't want to pay that crazy early-termination fee? Don't
3. That bag is awesome. I want one--it looks like a Hefty bag with a $4500 price tag on it and everybody will totally be jealous when they see I have one.
Sword-Wielding Porn Actor Dies After Falling Off Cliff in Standoff
LOS ANGELES (AP) -- A porn actor suspected of killing a colleague with a sword was taken into police custody Saturday after he fell some 40 feet from a rocky hillside from which he had been threatening to jump, officials said.Wait a minute--he lived at a "DVD production company?"
A "less lethal munition" was used against Stephen Clancy Hill just before his plummet, said police Officer Bruce Borihanh, who had no other details about the weapon that was used.
SWAT officers spent part of Saturday afternoon trying to talk Hill down from the outcropping as he clutched a sword.
It was unknown whether the sword was the murder weapon in Tuesday's deadly attack at a DVD production center that also left two people injured.
Hill fled to the Chatsworth neighborhood hillside after leaving a house where he was barricaded for most of Saturday.
Borihanh said Hill, 34, would be booked on murder and attempted murder charges after he was treated by paramedics. His condition was unknown.
The charges were filed against Hill Friday after Eric Jover, who runs the Ultima DVD production house, offered a $2,000 reward on the company's website for information leading to his arrest.
Hill attacked a colleague with a sword that was used as a film prop during a social gathering at the Ultima's studios about a week after being told he was being fired and that he would have to move out of the production facility, where he had been living, authorities said.
He then turned on two others who rushed to their co-worker's defense. One of those who attempted to help, Herbert Hin Wong, 30, was killed in the attack.
Hill, whose professional name is Steve Driver, fled in an SUV with the murder weapon, authorities said.
Ultima is located in the San Fernando Valley, known in the adult film industry as Porn Valley for its large number of porn businesses. The small company produces niche films featuring fetishes and sexual domination of men.
Hill was convicted of second-degree assault and a handgun charge in March 1999 in Maryland, according to court records.
UPDATE: The LA Times reports that Stephen Hill has died as a result of head injuries suffered from his roughly 50 ft. fall...Developing...
(courtesy Huffington Post)
Acoustic
Acoustic Bullets: High-power, very low-frequency waves emitted from one- to two-meter antenna dishes. Results in blunt-object trauma. Effects range from discomfort to death.Curdler Unit: A device that is plugged into a sound system to produce a shrill, shrieking, blatting noise. It is used to irritate and disperse rioters and has a decibel range just below that of the danger level to the human ear. It is used in night operations to produce a "voodoo" effect and breaks up chanting, singing, and clapping.
Infrasound: Very low-frequency sound that can travel long distances and easily penetrate most buildings and vehicles. Long-wavelength sound creates biophysical effects: nausea, loss of bowels, disorientation, vomiting, internal-organ damage, or death may occur. By 1972 an infrasound generator had been built in France. When activated it made the people in range sick for hours.
Acoustic & optical
Photic Driver: A crowd-control device that uses ultrasound and flashing infrared lights to penetrate closed human eyelids. Potential for epileptic fits because of the stroboscopic flashing effect.Psycho-Correction: A technology invented by a Russian scientist that involves influencing subjects visually or aurally with imbedded subliminal messages.
Barrier
Coating, Slick: Teflon-type lubricants that create a slippery surface. In the 1960s the term "Instant Banana Peel" was coined to describe the capability provided by Riotril. When applied to a hard surface and wetted down, this dry, relatively inexpensive white powder becomes ice slick. It becomes virtually impossible for an individual to move or stand up on a hard surface so treated.
Biotechnical
Biodegrading Microbes: Microbes that turn storage tanks full of aviation fuel into useless jelly. Such microbes may produce acids or enzymes that can be tailored to degrade almost anything, even concrete and metal, so their potential use as nonlethal weapons could be extensive.
Genetic Alteration: The act of changing genetic code to create a desired less-than-lethal but long-term disablement effect, perhaps for generations, thereby creating a societal burden.
Neuro-Implant: Computer implants into the brain that allow for behavioral modification and control. Current research is experimental in nature and focuses on lab animals such as mice.
Project Agile: Series of military-science studies in Asia conducted in May 1966 for the Advanced Research Projects Agency. One such study centered on developing "stink" bombs that were race specific.
Pheromones: The chemical substances released by animals to influence physiology or behavior of other members of the same species. One use of pheromones, at the most elemental level, could be to mark target individuals and then release bees to attack them.
Electrical
Police Jacket: Police jacket that jolts anyone who touches it.
Holograms
Prophet: The projection of the image of an ancient god over an enemy capital whose public communications have been seized and used against it in a massive psychological operation.Soldier Forces: The projection of soldier images that make an opponent think more allied forces exist than actually do, make an opponent believe that allied forces are located in a region where none actually exist, and/or provide false targets for his weapons to fire upon.Death: Hologram used to scare a target individual to death. Example: a drug lord with a weak heart sees the ghost of his dead rival appearing at his bedside and dies of fright.
Marker
Invisible: One concept envisions a fluorescent powder sprayed into crowds from a pressurized container. Particles adhere to clothing and are visible only under ultraviolet light. Another concept envisions sponge grenades impregnated with infrared dye so that rioters can be later identified.
Obscurant
Smoke, Colored: Colored-smoke concentrations produce greater initial psychological and panic effect than white smoke. Caucasians are said to have a greater repugnance to brilliant green smoke, whereas Negroids and Latins are declared to be most adversely affected by brilliant red. Rioters confronted with a strong concentration of colored smoke feel, instinctively, that they are being marked, or stained, and therefore lose anonymity.
Riot-control agent
Tear Gas, Invisible: Invisible tear gas cannot be seen by rioters once it emerges from a grenade or mechanical dispenser, and therefore has a greater psychological panic-producing effect than tear smoke.
(Find the rest here. Thanks, Harper's)
Tempted?Just wanted to extend a thank you to the very much of a big girl that roofied, then raped my roommate, and then robbed us blind last weekend. As you know my roommate doesn’t drink much and according to him after the two drinks you insisted on purchasing for him at Table Steaks, that was sadly his last coherent memory. In your defense my roommate is a pretty cool and funny dude to be around, but what’s not in your defense is that you drugged him, stole my IPod, his laptop and wallet, plus your white trash ass took five bottles of liquor from our bar. There is no way in hell that you didn’t drug him. I was awoken at three in the morning by you bumping your dirty fat girl music while giving my roommate a striptease and rubbing him up and down with your back fat rolls as he laid there motionless. You also had the audacity to ask if I wanted a lap dance next. Politely I replied “No thanks, I’m pretty tired, you too have fun.”
What I should have done is thrown a box of Oreos out the window and watch you race gravity to catch those delicious cookies all twenty stories down to the pavement. I will admit that due to your large stature, you probably could’ve kicked both of our asses, hell; you probably could have eaten at least one of us. Making matters worse not only did you rape my roommate but you did it while you were on the rag and left our couch looking like a fucking crime scene. One of the cops who showed up to our house to file a police report started gagging when we showed him our nice new cream colored couch that now after your endeavor; looks like someone drop kicked a can of meaty marinara sauce across it. Since you’re so fond of taking things that don’t belong to you, feel free to swing by ally adjacent to our condo and pick up that couch you and your hatchet wound destroyed. Also, since you treated my roommate like a mechanical bull, he has been limping around like a 17 year old German Shepherd with hip dysplasia all day; needless to say you fucked him up pretty bad. Oh my roommate just informed me that Season 3 of Arrested Development is missing, “Jesus, you are the worst kind of skank-waffle ever!”
ForeplayTip two; foreplay can turn into "forward out of the way" if the wheelchair is not off. When engaging in foreplay with your will chair bound mamma, set adjacent with open legs for us to park our love machine. This assists with the closeness between you and your partner and insures there will not be the always awkward "Fuck, you ran over my toe" dance.
Now remember, foreplay is a way of saying "hello" to one another's body before the big bang goes down. But, what do you do when your love mate can't physically participate at the level in which you play the game? You improvise. Never expect us non-ambulatory females to get down on our knees and undo your pants with our teeth. We need some assistance please. Playful kiss and roam our body. When you feel our hand slowly creeping up your thigh, mind you, this is not a form of teasing we just move slow, retract, raise a brow and look down. We know what you are asking. Bring it on out, we are ready to shake hands and make a new friend.
Tip three; hand jobs go nowhere when you have the grip of a granny. Let us watch.
Tip four; be ready to be one person performing the act of two people. We know when it's time to get down with the get down but we need help lying down.
[For the rest of the spiel, click on this and it will take you to the Village Voice website where I found it.]
1. There is at least one cock-hungry, obese, wheelchair-bound woman with a weak grip out there who wants some male attention NOW--as long as you are willing to help her out.Good luck out there in the trenches, folks--report back soon or I'll make you do it all over again!
2. There is some field-research to be done here in order to authenticate some of this advice, so it is high time you grab that gunny sack full 'o' ludes and head to your local V.A. during 'creepy visitor' hours, average reader. Trust me, it won't seem like a big deal once you're right in the heat of it all. Maybe.
Goodtime Charlie's 8th Grade Yearbook Photo (courtesy GTC Archives) 
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