Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Item: Teabaggers Aren't Republicans!

They just act like them.

The gist of this New York Times article about Teabaggers is that they are a motley crew of anti-tax crusaders, financial conservatives, strict defenders of the Constitution, crazy people with guns, armchair economists with embarrassing math skills, and people who don't know what socialism is.

They hate Republicans and Democrats alike, blaming them--especially Bush and Obama, naturally--for how fucked-up the country is today.

It doesn't seem to bother the Teabaggers that they didn't have a problem with anything the government was doing until the economy tanked and people started losing jobs, bankers started receiving Republican bailouts, etc. It's just coincidence, I guess.

For some reason, these unaffiliated angry citizens have not formed their own political party, despite how catchy and down-homey The Tea Party sounds (think of all the stuffed animals and dollies that would join the fight!).

Instead, they have thrown in their lot with the Republicans--aka the guys with the most blood on their hands. The Republicans, predictably, have responded with open arms and begun eagerly courting these wily mustangs, grateful that anybody still loves them:
At a Tea Party protest in Las Vegas, Joe Heck, a Republican running for Congress, blamed both the Democratic and Republican Parties for moving the country toward “socialistic tyranny.”

In Texas, Gov. Rick Perry, a Republican seeking re-election, threw his support behind the state sovereignty movement.

And in Indiana, Richard Behney, a Republican Senate candidate, told Tea Party supporters what he would do if the 2010 elections did not produce results to his liking: “I’m cleaning my guns and getting ready for the big show. And I’m serious about that, and I bet you are, too.”
(courtesy NYTimes.com)
Really, Richard Behney? You're gonna go cowboy on us and shoot up the statehouse or something? Because of the unfavorable results of a democratic election? What are you saying here, that you will literally obstruct the will of the people and throw a wrench in the democratic process? That seems...hypocritical, doesn't it?

Or are you saying that sometimes a minority is more intelligent and capable than the undereducated masses, that it would be better for the country to be ruled by an elite oligarchy than by those most able to buy/cheat/steal elections?

Cuz that's funny, since I believe the same thing. Most people do. The problem is that we all disagree on who should be a member of that oligarchy. You think it should consist of Harley-riding tax-allergic plumbers with gun collections and I think it should only include logical, forward-thinking, compassionate, smart people without irrational religious convictions or firearms.

I think we're both going to be very disappointed come November.

My life will go on much the same, I reckon. Will you stay true to your word and ready your guns for battle?

I wonder. Because something tells me you're not the kind of guy that wants to risk his asshole in an Indiana penitentiary for any cause and that regardless of what happens in November, you'll wind up going home and fondling your gun by yourself. Per usual.

But, then again, I don't really know you. Let's see what kind of man you are:
My wife and I have three children. We moved to Fishers, Indiana in 1994 from Tennessee and fell in love with Indiana. My plumbing business operates in the central Indiana area. I love being an entrepreneur. I enjoy working alongside my plumbing crew, sitting on the back of a truck at the end of a hard day and talking about life. I also like where I live, going to football games and having my neighbors over for a backyard cookout. My wife and I often dream of the day when we have all of our kids raised and we ride a Harley down to Key West for an extended vacation. In other words, I am in the midst of living out the American Dream.
Yep--I was right. Now stop yapping like Glenn Beck's lapdog and get outta my face, Dick--I've got my own oligarchy to mobilize.

Or maybe I'll start that next year...




Karl said...

Take a closer look...I think that guy might ber Sarah Palin in drag.

Goodtime Charlie said...

I'm tempted to agree with you, except he spells way too many words correctly and has a far better PR team.

That being said, I totally want to sex with him, so maybe it is her...