Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Snoop Dogg Hits a New Low

I don't know anything about poptart Katy Perry except that she is married to an unfunny comedian (Russell Brand), purchased her breasts, looks like a trashier version of Zooey Deschanel (which I didn't think was possible), and really likes the fact that she once kissed a girl.

After watching her latest video, however, which a friend recommended due to its supreme awfulness--it did not disappoint--I am mystified both as to why she is a success and, more importantly, why Snoop Dogg would want to be associated with her in such a public capacity.

Why? Well, because Snoop Dogg used to be cool. His wacky aesthetic, chronic misoginism, and stoner thuggery used to blend perfectly with his clever lyrics, Dr. Dre's beats, his ungainly frame, and the playfulness inherent in anything 'West Coast.'

But ever since he stopped smoking pot--or at least stopped owning up to it--his goofy style has suddenly become the worst thing about him and his every decision (save his generous support for PeeWee football in CA) has been atrociously uncool, if ultimately profitable for Snoop Dogg, Inc.

Every boy from Long Beach's dream come true

This should have been a much tougher Photoshop job--because Snoop
should never have been that close to Martha Stewart in real life.

Even that little girl can't believe Snoop is on Ellen.
And the worst part is that I bet he danced with her. Shudder...

The long and the short of it is that Snoop can do what he wants, but he should realize that he's now an irrelevant, fame-addicted, greedy asshole in the same league as Josh Groban, Nicholas Cage, the Coldplay dude, Garth Brooks, and everybody else he and his buddies probably used to make fun of when they were younger and cooler.



LiteralDan said...

This is the Snoop Dogg I've known for years. It makes me sad, and baffled as to why he is still presented as "the epitome of cool" everywhere he goes. Does anyone really believe that anymore?

I have to ask, though, why the run-by slapping of Zooey Deschanel? What did she ever do to you??

Goodtime Charlie said...

Well, she never did anything to me personally, but she has always bothered me as one of many bad actors brought into the industry solely through nepotism (much like Drew Barrymore).

I'm tired of seeing her face and mannerisms, hearing her voice. She always seems to play the same cutesy, artsy, twee, emo, cooler-than-you, raspy-voiced, doe-eyed annoying girl with horrific fashion sense who sleeps around.

Her worst offense is definitely her lead performance in "Winter Passing." Ugh...