Saturday, January 16, 2010

How Brave

Chelsea Clinton announced yesterday that she is going to do her part in sending aid to the people of Haiti--by hosting a spin class in Manhattan.
"Good Afternoon SoulCyclists," the note says "in a time of need, we can always look to our SOUL COMMUNITY to take action. In response to the recent devastation in Haiti, we are doing our best to make a difference. Please join Chelsea Clinton and SoulCycle for a special 90-minute ride on Thursday, Jan. 21 to benefit The Clinton Haiti Relief Fund."

Front row "seats" to the event cost $1,000, while second row bikes will go for $500 and all other bikes will be $100. Checks were to be made out to The Clinton Foundation with a notation that it should go to Haiti relief efforts.
Boy, she's really got that Super Rich act down pat already. The only child of wealthy, politically-connected, celebrity parents, she was somehow hired as the youngest consultant at McKinsey & Company immediately after receiving a master's degree in International Relations from Oxford, then decided to move on to a hedge fund run by a good friend of her parents and get engaged to an investment banker.

Now, despite her own lucrative salary and her family's ridiculous wealth (the Clintons made $109 million between 2000-2007), she is not donating any actual money to the cause--just 110 minutes of her time, including travel to and from the fitness center, for which you will be asked to pay dearly.

Is all the family money getting sucked up by that daring team of hairdressers that straightens and dyes Chealsea's rat-nesty hair four times a day? Or are the Clintons simply stockpiling and laughing their way to a dynasty?

Probably a cocktail of the two. Anyway, I'll be praying to Jeebus for a barren womb for Chelsea this Christmas, so that I can take over the deep, jowly laugh from Billary and join in all the fun. Are you there God? It's me, Charlie...

Chelsea Clinton fact of the day:
During the Clinton's stint in the White House, Chelsea's Secret-Service codename was 'Energy.'


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