Monday, January 11, 2010

Better Than A Mango, Even

Since over 21 million people have viewed this shit since it was posted on the youtubes, I hope I'm not guilty of putting this under your nose for seconds.

But if you haven't seen it, you need to:

"They won't breastfeed forever. They will not breastfeed when they go to college or get married. It's never happened. It's never going to happen. Once you're out in that big bad world, that's it. There is no safe haven like being at mother's breast."
So...high school graduation is your cut-off? Way to set limits, you self-important, over-indulgent bitch. Yeah, your daughters will totally be ready for the real world by then, never having left their mother's teat, much less released her apron strings, staggering around their college campus like drunks in withdrawal, begging for breastmilk from passing strangers.

Can you imagine dating one of those girls when they get older? I mean, if they take to cocks as they did to the nipple, it might be alright. But something tells me the obsession won't translate and you'll be left holding a bag full of whiney bitch that will never want to live more than one mile from her mom's house and will almost certainly poke a hole in her diaphragm in order to have a baby to suckle for the next 18 years (momma's golden rule will not be broken).

Or maybe they'll play it cool and just get into erotic lactation? Or maybe they already are?

This is all just too gross. Yet another reason to stay far, far away from Wales (aka Cambria), as if their aversion to vowels and toothpaste wasn't already enough...

If you feel like getting a little deeper into the head of a woman who breastfeeds her child for a prolonged period of time, as I did this evening, much to my dismay, then check out this ridiculous piece of work to learn how a master suckler can jockey her mom's breasts to get the most out of them.

And feel free to browse the wikipedia entry on breastfeeding to learn the difference between foremilk and hindmilk, so that you'll always have something fascinating to talk about at parties.


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