Tuesday, March 17, 2009

News from the Future!

The Northrop-Grumman Internet Times-Dispatch April 16, 2159

220 Year-Old Bernie 'Ponzi' Madoff Paroled for Good Conduct

His 150-year prison sentence drawing to a close, Mr. Madoff said that although he will certainly miss the familiar, lush grounds of the minimum-security prison he has called home for several lifetimes--as well as his numerous golfing buddies there--he was also excited about the prospect of reconnecting with his wife, children, and other loved ones.

"Luckily, I stole enough money to make us all live forever. Cryonics is an amazing thing!"

Meanwhile, the descendants of those financially raped by him around the turn of the millenium are up in arms across the globe.

"Godsfhoisdnlmf;sdmf;ldsmklmnslkfnl!!" One of them cried unintelligibly, his tongue long ago bartered for a handful of week-old rice. Of course, with no education to speak of, a tongue may not have made a difference...


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