Saturday, March 7, 2009

Four Year Old Boy Wins Island!

Okay, let's forget for the moment that this boy is four years old. Let's put yourself in his shoes instead.

You won exclusive use of a beautiful, uninhabited, tropical island--including a hut with electricity and running water, as well as free food and drink--from May to December.


Oh, wait--you can only use it for 15 days. And you can only use those 15 days in 3-day bursts. And you can only bring 7 other people with you. But they all have to be members of your family.

What the fuck?! Talk about a fine-print bummer!

Obviously, this is still a cool thing, I guess, but now there is so much difficulty involved. Now you must arrange for round-trip transportation from home to your island five times. Now you must leave as soon as you get truly comfortable and relaxed in your new peaceful tropical environment. Now you must be surrounded by the family you may have been trying to take a vacation from--or be totally alone.

With all these things in mind, it is a good thing the boy is only four years old. He needs family members to feed him and wipe his ass and make sure he doesn't try to kiss a poisonous snake. And I'm sure the parents of a four-year old child would love a vacation. So, the strictness of the award in mind, I think it went to probably the best possible recipient. Which is an odd thing to think about, when you think about what the award sounded like in the first place.

I mean, what the hell is the point of having exclusive rights to something if you are so limited in your use of it? Why can't he just stay there from May to December, if nobody else will be using the hut and its surrounding scenic beauty?

This makes me want to fly to Taiwan and give somebody a piece of my mind. Maybe even multiple people. This is a new thing for me--a first. Which means I might actually do it! I love firsts! And I'd love to forge a birth certificate and get in on some of these 3-day vacations, get to know the boy, the island, the tropical beaches, the local fishes, etc.

I'll keep you posted.

Bonus read: This is the article from where I yoinked that awesome photo, after a Google image search for 'four year old boy'. (A search I perform nightly. Kidding!)


No comments: