Saturday, March 7, 2009

Finally!


A Marmaduke movie!

What could be more relevant than a stupid-ass 1954 comic strip about a misbehaving Great Dane?

Let me guess--the dog is big and sits on a lot of people's laps. To great comedic effect. And something tells me there will be an hilarious 'slobber scene.' And there will somehow be a romance involved, for Marmaduke or one or more of its owners. And they'll probably throw in a teen vampire for good measure, to cover their demos.

As much as I love to hate on the Marmaduke movie, of which I am unfortunately now irretrievably aware, though, there is so much more to hate-on in the article linked to above.

Alvin and the Chipmunks made $358 million worldwide? Who the fuck saw that movie? And, more importantly, just because a lot of people saw it does not imply that the same people liked it. It could have just been a lot of misled first-timers; the type of people who would probably not watch a sequel. Hollywood never seems to understand this phenomenon. Hence the numerous bombing big-budget sequels...

Alvin and the Chipmuks: The Squeakquel? It would hard to think of a more irritatingly-awful title.

Walter the Farting Dog?

Tom Dey, the director of the upcoming Marmaduke debacle also directed Shanghai Noon, Showtime, and Failure to Launch? Wait, and he is repped by Endeavor but Endeavor hasn't realized they should earn their 10%--and, more importantly for them, guarantee that there will be future income for them to take 10% of--and suppress this kind of imformation?

The only bright spot of this article is the fact that Marley & Me has only grossed $166 million worldwide. It must be killing Jennifer Aniston and the producers/distributors that Alvin & the Fucking Chipmunks made more than twice that amount. Ha ha!

_

2 comments:

Karl said...

Who saw Alvin and the Chipmunks? Who's going to see Marmadukes.

Here's a hint: they're shorter than you, and their balls haven't dropped yet.

Goodtime Charlie said...

why can't we give those shorties something GOOD to watch? like 'toy story' or 'the incredibles?'

but i guess if parents will take their kids to see any piece of filmed feces that's out there, what motivation does hollywood have to provide good material? none.

and so, all the stupid parents out there (which is...most of them?) must share the blame. thanks, guys.