Psy-cho-somat-ic Plan-e-tary!

Isn't the Earth a magnificent place?

I agree. But, more importantly, it has come to my attention recently that not everybody I know here on Earth is aware of something I learned about long, long ago--before you were even an hallucination in your mother's mind--something called a psychosomatic pregnancy.

Well, that's what I always heard it called, anyway. Apparently its more correct term is 'pseudocyesis.'

But what does this mean?

I'll tell you what it means--it means the crazy part of a woman's brain (1-100%, depending) is able to convince her body that it is pregnant. Her belly and breasts swell, she lactates, she stops menstruating...it appears to be a typical, tried-and-true pregnancy.

Except she could very well be a virgin!

It was either the first or second time I heard this phrase (maybe it had come up already in Psychology 101?) that the concept became indelibly ingrained in my mind, courtesy of Allison Anders.


It was...1998 or 1999, and the 'hot young edgy director' of Gas Food Lodging was giving the well-paid ($10k?) opening speech to a student film festival at my college.

Allison Anders was a very atypical filmmaker who had gained a lot of traction in the independent film world in the early nineties. She had a 'great story'--abandoned by her father, raped at a young age, done drugs, wandered the Earth, been to jail (?), had a baby young, worked her way through community college and film school in Los Angeles...and immediately broke out on the scene as a unique voice; and had a lot to say.


Probably the only thing I remember from her speech is an anecdote she lingered on during the 'rundown of the hard times in her life' section of her speech (which was by far the biggest part). It involved her teenage psychosomatic pregnancy--with Paul McCartney as the father. The psych-out went as far as her going into labor...but never giving birth to anything!

Needless to say, many of the questions during the Q & A centered on this fantastic experience. Also needless to say, Ms. Anders underwent intense psychotherapy as a result of the faux pregnancy. It's safe to say this girl has an active imagination.

Her movies may not be my cup of tea--certainly not the awful Mi Vida Loca--and I don't think she's done anything in a while, but isn't it amazing to hear proof of how powerful the human mind is?


That being said, apparently we have nothing on dogs. Should they be in charge?

_