An overwhelming feeling of contentment washed over me a few minutes ago.
I wish you could have been there to see it, as the experience was transcendental and will never be repeated.
There I was, laying on my couch, sipping a good bourbon, allowing heavenly soul music to softly tongue my ears, pondering the problems of the weaker sex, when a little birdie came and told me that everything would be okay.
All lonely women have to do is read this douchebag's book and everything will be explained, solved.
Hurrah! The world is finally a happy place--all it took was to first make a worthless, self-obsessed poser rich!
What a small sacrifice! Let's do it again, people of the globe! Me next!
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