According to all comers, obese Hollywood shit-schlocker Kevin James' latest puerile turd, Paul Blart: Mall Cop, was a megaplex megadisappointment. And keep in mind expectations were not high to begin with.
As today's special treat--you're welcome--please read the most negative, sarcastic, and brief New York Times movie review I have ever read. It will make you smile. And everybody should smile more.
As soon as you're finished smiling, read this and drown yourself to death in tears for the fate of humanity.
[Confidential to Kevin James: One of my more avid readers informed me the other day that when asked whether they would rather have sex with Adrien Brody five minutes post-mortem or the dude from King of Queens, they all chose the fresh corpse of Adrien Brody. So put that in your pipe and smoke it.]
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2 comments:
Take it from someone who has actually HAD sex with Adrien Brody post-mortem: you'd do a lot better with Kevin James, alive OR dead.
I can't believe anyone would spend money to see this.
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