Oscar Quandary

2009 Oscar Nominations were released today. Unsurprisingly, I have a few things to say about it.


- Slumdog Millionaire is the favorite for more big awards than any other movie (Best Picture, Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay), as well as a host of others for which it is in the running (Best Original Song, Best Original Score, Best Editing, Best Sound Mixing, and Best Sound Editing). Yet...none of the actors were nominated. None of them were even bandied about as potential nominees. The telltale sign of a movie that isn't that great, but which strikes a chord with people because it is 'heartwarming' and 'different' and chatted about by fat women around watercoolers. Or is the academy just afraid of giving out awards to Indians? Even Little Miss Sunshine, Juno, and Sideways got actor noms.
I can hear the justification right now, reverberating among the Hollywood Hills: "Well, the script was amazing, the directing of the actors was amazing...but those people speaking the lines and being directed were not very good--but I loved the movie. Best of the year for sure."


- Josh Brolin in Milk....over James Franco in Milk? Are you GAY?!?! Franco played a much tougher role, did it much better, and was in many respects the emotional core of the movie. Hmmm...but we remember Josh Brolin from No Country for Old Men and Franco from Spiderman...hmmm... Let's see--are you more impressed by an actor who can believably play Spiderman's arch nemesis, a funny and charming sweetheart of a pot dealer stuck in an action comedy, and Harvey Milk's lover (all in the last year alone), or Josh Brolin, who pretty much plays the same guy every time (even in W, oddly)--a reticent, pretty-boy tough guy with a soft side? Can you imagine Josh Brolin playing gay? Can you imagine him playing a pot dealer? Can you imagine him playing a superhero villain? Come to think of it, I think I'd rather see Franco as W. Who knew I was so in love? I guess you learn something new about yourself every day.


- Surprisingly, the three animated features nominated this year were...the three animated features released this year.


- Has Ron Howard made a movie that he was not nominated for as Best Director? Is this the first time Clint Eastwood was not nominated? Is it only because he split the old person votes for Changeling and Gran Torino?


- Can't we just give the cast of Doubt an ensemble Tony Award? There needs to be a special category for "filmed theater that puts me to sleep."


- Why is there never a frontrunner in the Best Actress race, but always in the Best Actor race? It's Mickey Rourke's award to lose, but a free-for-all once again among the Best Broads.


- If Penelope Cruz doesn't win Best Supporting Actress for Vicky Cristina Barcelona (based on the competition) then I will fucking quit my job and run away with her. If that doesn't motivate her PR team to light a fucking fire, I don't know what will.


- Best Picture category is the weakest I can remember. I hope Milk wins and I can't believe I'm saying that. I hate Sean Penn!


- Robert Downey, Jr for Tropic Thunder? Huh? I mean, he was the only thing worth watching in that movie, but if we are going to start rewarding supporting comedy roles (which we should), then we need to take a fucking time machine back to 1998 and give Matt Dillon the first one for There's Something About Mary.


That is all for now. I haven't begun to sift through the scientific achievement nominations...

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