How do I know? What is the evidence?
Look no further:
Guaranteed blockbuster The Marriage Ref is failing.
I know. But it is. And it needs our help.
So, America, if you are listening, Jerry Seinfeld (yeah--the King-Midas maestro behind that killer bee movie!) really needs you right now.
Luckily for you, helping him out has never been easier. Just follow these easy steps:
1. Become a Nielsen family.While you're at it, America, please also make sure to watch Jay Leno--he needs our support now more than ever. Thank you.
2. Have your TV tuned in to NBC for this show--every week--while you take a nice hot bath or nap in the other room. Or just have your DVR record it and never even watch it because they'll never know or care, right? Right.
In other news, Warren Buffet lost $10,000 today. Please donate here to help him get back on his feet.