AIDS = Hitler

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German Man Does Something Weird

The news is just getting too fantastically strange this lately. There is clearly something in the water--is it oil?

Puppy Thrown at German Biker Gang

A German student "mooned" a group of Hell's Angels and hurled a puppy at them before escaping on a stolen bulldozer, police have said.

The man drove up to a Hell's Angels clubhouse near Munich, wearing only a pair of shorts and carrying a puppy.

He dropped his shorts and threw the dog, escaping on a bulldozer from a nearby building site.

He was arrested later at home by police. The 26-year-old is said to have stopped taking depression medication.

Politics is Politics is Politics

It's so weird that the Democrats are not sticking it to Wall Street right now in the much-blathered-about Financial Reform Bill, considering they have the votes and there is a bipartisan public outcry for real reform, right?

There has never been a better chance to help the little guys, right?

Wrong. While the time is certainly ripe for reform, there is unfortunately an election this fall and, therefore, the financial titans are in the perfect position to play one side against the other to get the watered-down 'reform' they want.

If incumbent Republicans don't use every childish trick in the book to delay votes, reject amendments, and extract toothless compromises, they won't get any money and they will lose their elections to even-more-nutjobby Teabaggers.

If Democrats (who receive more funding from Wall Street than the GOP, by the way) stand tall and clamp down on derivatives (among other issues), Goldman Sachs--who stands to lose 41% of their earnings--will make sure Republicans won every seat in November to overturn the law before it takes effect.

Thus, the pickle we are in and why we will stay in this pickle we have been in for quite some time now. Socialism for the rich, capitalism for the poor. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer, and those pesky SEC lawsuits against Goldman will ultimately amount to little more than huffing and puffing and a whole bag full of money for a bunch of lawyers.


Sadly, in order to perform any potential future good, the Democrats need to take a dive in order to stockpile every penny they can get from Wall Street or the Republicans nutjobs will crush them and the nation will be handed once again to the heedless, farting toddlers obsessed with deficit nonchalance, corporate tax cuts, propaganda, environmental destruction, "family values for you not me," and the raping of the middle-class-cum-working-poor.

The really bad news, however, is that there will always be another election waiting in the shadows and there will always be those--on either side of our two-headed monster--that will vote against what is just in order to line their pockets with gold.

...and you wonder why not a single city in the United States made it into the top thirty in Mercer's Best Places to Live in the World survey (Honolulu was 31st).

How have all these other (European, Canadian, Oceanic) nations figured out how to bribe and steal while also giving the people a better quality of life? Are they just slightly less greedy? I might have to head over to Germany and do some research...

Gute Nacht!

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Be the Envy of the Upper East Side

Get your square watermelon today!

These totally unnecessary items are only $75.00 each and available wherever obscenely wealthy people might actually spend that much on something worth $3.00--New York, Germany, the Netherlands, and Japan.

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Probably Should Have Seen That One Coming, Ma'am

According to Der Spiegel, a German prisoner murdered a woman during an unsupervised six-hour-long conjugal visit on Sunday, using two knives and a wrench to stab and beat her to death.

The prisoner also slit his own wrists but doctors were (fortunately?) able to save him and continue spending tax dollars to keep him in good health for the next thirty years or so.

Why should this woman have seen it coming? Because the prisoner was serving 19 years for raping a 9-year-old girl and beating her to death.

Probably not the best guy to start a relationship with, definitely not the best guy to break-up with during a conjugal visit, especially if you have knives in your purse, especially if he looks like this:


Not quite Darwin Award material, but it sure is close.

The scariest thing about all this, however, is that the brutal murder could have a silver lining for the victim's now-orphaned child.

Instead of this monster being released next year and moving in with them--which surely would have resulted in this child's rape/death at some point--s/he can now live a long and fruitful life in foster care, in constant pant-wetting fear of the inevitable day this psycho escapes from prison--when the guards send him out to buy them some lottery tickets--and decides to finish the job.

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Gamebreaker: The Pope is an Asshole

Not like this is a surprise to anybody with half a brain in this day and age--except people who cover their ears and babble incoherently whenever reality threatens their spiritual core, of course--but the Pope is complicit in the cover-up of years upon years of admitted sexual abuse in multiple countries.

Say wha?

Yeah. Check out the latest. And, while you're at it, check out the dirt in Germany.

What will it take for people to abandon the Catholic faith? Does the Pope himself have to molest their child as he holds them down with a solid-gold scepter coated in blood diamonds and makes them watch?

Would that work? Or would it just be one more of those 'mysterious ways' in which God works?

Organized religion makes me so sick. I gotta stop this right now...


Too late.

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Depression + Guns = Bad

The economy is in the shitter. Unemployment is at the highest level in 25 years. Every day, more and more lives are shattered.

I had a feeling it would not be long until there was another big shooting spree and, sadly, I was right.

It was the nation’s worst mass shooting since April 16, 2007, when Seung-Hui Cho, 23, shot and killed 32 people in a dormitory and classroom at Virginia Tech University in Blacksburg, Va., then killed himself in the largest shooting in modern American history. In the last month, 25 people, including 2 gunmen, were slain in three mass shootings, in North Carolina, California and Alabama.

If you include the one in Germany recently, that now brings us to a total of...a lot. A lot too many.

Let me now just take a time-out to properly thank God that so many desperate, unhinged men across the Western World have such easy access to deadly weapons for no good reason.

Thankfully, the NRA has chosen to remain silent of late, or I might have had to convince some hillbilly to bust into their offices and self-defend them all to death just to get a point across.

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