I Wish I Could Throw Up All Over Her

Guess what? When Rihanna things something is really cool or sexy, she says "Barf!"

“Barf!” Rihanna squealed, at the sight of a pair of pale pink satin Brian Atwood stilettos. In her world this is a compliment. “Usually it’s ‘ill’ or ‘I want to throw up on it,’ ” she explained. “But barf is the worst,” meaning the best. “Barf is 10 out of 10.”

If you haven't already thrown your computer out the window in frustration at her idiocy, check this: Rihanna has a new album coming out and it's super introspective. Viz:

Rated R is her fourth album, and in some ways her most risky, another step in the evolution of a persona that is, as the title of her multiplatinum 2007 album put it, Good Girl Gone Bad. It is also, she said, her most personal album, a response to her breakup with the singer Chris Brown, who assaulted her in a car in February after a pre-Grammy party.

(courtesy NYTimes.com)

Huh--now that is surprising. I never would have guessed that her publicists and record label executives would have tried to capitalize on the interminable press she received for getting hit in the face by her loser boyfriend. I was totally expecting them to ignore it and force her to experiment with a career-ending foray into Norwegian death metal or a Madonna cover album or something.

Anyway, please buy her totally barfy new album--full of songs about how she's "strong again" and "wants a man who will treat her right"--so she can finally feel good about herself. Rihanna may seem like yet another young female industry puppet who isn't worth a damn, but she really needs your love and support right now; her wounds are still fresh and there are just so many $5000 dresses out there that she wants to throw up on.

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