Sunday, May 3, 2009

What's Eating Joe Drape's Writing Talent?

And does he cover anything but the Kentucky Derby?

Check out this gem from his Derby article today:
"In 2007, after Borel guided Street Sense to a Derby victory with a similar rail-skimming, last-to-first trip, the nation was introduced to this humble, emotional man with a grade-school education and a Ph.D-sized heart. Borel, in turn, was introduced to Queen Elizabeth II at a White House state dinner."
"A PhD-sized heart?" Really? Did we just stumble into a poorly-written 1940's melodrama? I suddenly feel like ending my days by vomiting out my own vital organs. Since when does being a jockey require a college, or even high-school, education? Is it really that rare? Methinks not.

And how big is a PhD anyway? Is it bigger than a breadbox? Is it smaller than my foot shoved up your ass?

Also, I would be remiss in my duties if I didn't point out the pointlessness of some dude affiliated with a gambling/sporting event attending a state dinner at the White House, not to mention the pointlessness of a Queen's mere existence. What does she do that needs to be done?

The only thing more unnecessary than a pope is a monarch.


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