Saturday, February 16, 2008

7 Reasons Dane Cook Should Not Be Invited to Your Notoriously Licentious Leap-Year Party


1. The SUperfinger (aka SU-FI). Yeah, the U is supposed to be capitalized. Yeah, he didn't even invent it, but he DID trademark it...

2. 'Dane Cook Gear' exists.

3. This gear is for sale on his own site; it's not some woefully-misguided/money-laundering Taiwanese operation ignoring a cease-and-desist.

4. 'Danespace: 2.2 million friends'

5. He has the most negative entry I've ever read on wikipedia (yes, even Hitler's is more forgiving)--a freely-changeable website his PR people (as well as himself) have total access to and, therefore, the ability to alter at a moment's notice. They, the 'PR people,' for all their I-went-to-Bard-and-I'm-gonna-be-somebody-someday- even-though-I'm-only-making-$21,000-a-year-and-living-off- my-wealthy-parents-in-a-trendily-dirty-little-Brooklyn-apartment- while-looking-for-a-rich-banker-boyfriend-who's-not-too-geeky gusto, can't seem to keep up with the less-dedicated, but far more numerous, anti-fans that safeguard the authenticity of the Internet for us all. While we sleep.

(Thank you, by the way...).

Here is a lengthy, but warranted, excerpt from said entry:
Plagiarism

After the release of his CD/DVD Retaliation, similarities were noticed between Cook's work and material recorded on Louis C.K.'s 2001 album Live in Houston. The bits in question are Louis C.K.'s "Itchy Asshole", "Guy on a Bike", and "Naming Kids". In 2005, Dane Cook performed and released three similar routines on Retaliation. These are "Itchy Asshole", "Struck by a Vehicle," and "My Son Optimus Prime", respectively.

In 2005, on the message boards of comedy web site A Special Thing, C.K. posted a response to his fans who accused Cook of plagiarizing from him writing "Okay, this kid is stealing from me. And making lots of money. Three bits on one CD." Later, C.K. wrote "Just so you know, guys, I'm not going to do anything about this.... I'm not going to court over a bit called 'Itchy Asshole.'" In an interview on the Free Beer & Hot Wings Morning Show in February 2007, C.K. stated that while the jokes are similar, the issue was "overblown" and may stem from a backlash against Cook's popularity. However, C.K. accused Cook of being "bullyish" and litigious towards comedians for having similar material to his despite Cook claiming elsewhere that comedians often have similar material and it is not a big issue to him. C.K. also stated "Too bad the guy [Cook] can't write enough." After much pressure by the hosts for a derogatory statement, C.K. ended the interview by finally adding, "Fuck Dane Cook, he's a cunt."

Comedian Joe Rogan has spoken on many occasions about Cook performing a bit on an episode of Premium Blend that Rogan had developed on I'm Gonna Be Dead Someday (sketch titled "Tigers Fucking"), and claims to have performed the routine earlier in clubs with Cook present.

Less publicized accusations of comedic plagiarism by Cook emerged in September 2006 on Saturday Night Live by Demetri Martin of Daily Show fame. Clips on YouTube show a stand up bit Cook lifted from Martin's These Are Jokes (released September 26, 2006, four days before Cook's SNL appearance), on some trouble buying shoes, where Cook goes as far as using the same incorrect shoe size (size 9) that Martin used.

Rob Sheffield criticized Dane Cook's material in a Rolling Stone article from October 2006, claiming a joke he performed was originally done by Emo Philips.

In addition to such specific claims of plagiarism, numerous commentators have characterized Dane Cook's humor as unfunny, banal, and lacking jokes.

6. Because I heard a few minutes of one of his stand-up routines once and I mistakenly thought it was a send-up of stand-up routines--and not a very good one at that.

7. Because, while admittedly a savvy businessman, he is dumb.

_

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