Monday, April 19, 2010

Gwyneth Paltrow Is Unhappy With Her Body

Ever the trend-setter--just another side effect of her unstoppable genius--the lovely Gwyneth decided to leapfrog all those plastic surgery fools and go straight to the cutting-edge shit.

Since her legs were getting "icky," she decided to just cut them off and have a couple anatomically-correct, scientifically-miraculous, animatronic legs attached in their place.

Expect the blindingly-glossy sheen to be cut way down with the upcoming second generation.

Until then, for your own safety, please try to avoid looking directly at Mrs. Paltrow's legs--especially if you are operating heavy machinery in her vicinity. Her legal defense fund will thank you.


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