Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The Final Word on Sandra Bullock

How far does one need to bend down while wearing naught save a camisole,
so as to show some cleavage? Must be before the boob-job...

I can't even believe I'm talking about her, but I guess one man can only take so much fucking mindless bullshit from the blaring media before he has to silence the crowd, down a thirsty throat-full of Pellegrino, belch in the satisfied manner of a man of the world, and speak his mind, once and for all, so here goes:

Sandra Bullock is not worth a damn.

The evidence:
1. She has never been, nor will ever be, a credible actor, despite a recent Oscar win for her performance as a skinny white woman with breasts and a questionable accent in 'Precious for the Suburbs.'

2. She was stupid enough to marry Jesse James, a white-trash custom motorcycle dawg with a penchant for porn stars, despite the fact that she had her pick of the litter, and expected it to turn out well.

3. She counts George Fucking Lopez among her closest friends, which is proof that she has absolutely no taste whatsoever, since that guy is a comedian who has yet to realize the only joke he has given the world is himself.

4. She thinks the world cares whether or not she has a sex tape.
No talent, no taste, no clue. And she wants my sympathy?

I say, "Fuck that bitch."

I said it once, I'll say it again. Either raise your glass or begin the slow but fruitful process of learning how to finally accept the truth--anything else is just unnecessarily self-destructive.


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