Who Doesn't Love a Good Penis?

What would we do without people in the woods who have a lot of time on their hands and know how to use a chainsaw? Answer: Be way more bored.

Thank you, Woodmen of the World (WOW)!

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The Amish Need to Get Real

Easily the most vain Amish people in the entire world

Amish communities in Illinois (which apparently exist) are upset over a law that will soon take effect in the state that will require photos on all firearm-owner identification cards.

Can you imagine being upset over that? It seems like a reasonable requirement (we require a photo to verify you are the correct person driving a car but not buying a gun?) and I'm surprised it wasn't already in place, so...what exactly is the problem?

Well, it seems the Amish--much like Australian Aborigines living off the land in the middle of nowhere, as they have for thousands of years--aren't big fans of photography. While it does not appear they are afraid it will capture their souls (that sounds so stupid, right?) they ARE afraid of what embracing this newfangled technology will mean:

The Amish are also known for being uncomfortable with photography, especially posed photography, which they believe leads to idolatrous vanity, according to AmishNews.com.

(courtesy HuffPo)

If the Amish don't figure something out quickly they might be royally screwed because apparently a lot of them "hunt and they usually use squirrel or rabbit rifles to bring some food back home" as well as "to disperse varmints," according to the Mattoon Journal-Gazette and the Amish America blog.

So let me get this straight--the Amish have a blog, their own news website, and apparently unfettered internet access, but believe photographs of themselves will end the world as they know it? Is a blog not the height of vanity? [Don't answer that. We can't handle it. -Ed.]

Get real, Amish--you've been kicking around for a long time and seem to be doing pretty okay (somehow), but as H.G. Wells once said, "adapt or perish." Either join the real world already or slowly turn your evaporating culture into little more than a quaint museum exhibit fourth-grade schoolchildren draw penises on with Sharpies during interminable field trips.

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Visual Chocolate

A few photographs from American-cum-Frenchie William Klein, for your pleasure this Monday afternoon:

All images copyright William Klein

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Sunday is a Good Day for Regret

Anything you should have done differently? Is there still enough time to change every single thing about you?

You have the day off, probably, so why don't you just sit back, take stock of your life, order another couple martinis, and figure this shit out once and for all.

After all, there is still time. For most of you...

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And Now For Some Catherine Deneuve

Perfect fodder for your afternoon reverie, ladies and gentlemen.

You're welcome.

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Coolest Homeless Couple Ever?

This photo almost makes me want to be homeless, to feel the unbridled freedom of the open road, from possessions and responsibilities that weigh me down. How liberating would it be to wake up to the singing of birds in a verdant park after a long night's sleep, your doting girlfriend cuddled up on your chest, not one obligation weighing you down, the entire day--nay, the rest of your life--naught more than an empty to-do list full of whimsical possibility and the kindness of strangers?

Workin' for a Living

Not sure who the photographer is, but I like this shot a lot. It reminds me of my younger days, back when anything was possible.

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Tired of Being Too Tan, Topless Woman Plunges to Her Death

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They Call Them Masters for a Reason

Ladies and gentlemen, if you haven't met him already, I give you the pleasure of introducing you to the work of Richard Avedon.

Enjoy.

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Pirate's Booty

These are some of the interesting images I encountered while writing blog entries this past week or two. They were too cool not to share, yet I couldn't find much of a use for them at the moment.

Enjoy!








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I Mean--Ya Gotta Feed the Monkey, Right?!

This just in:
Annie Leibovitz may be a raging cokehead with holes in her purse and the financial savvy of Donald Trump.

Why the hell else would a woman who earns over $3 million a year need to take out a $24 million loan she will never be able to pay back without selling her entire catalog?

Better yet, how will her three children ride her coattails for the rest of their lives if they lose the right to her future royalties?

I'm really worried...

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