Yet Again, Religion Makes People Stupid

It wasn't that long ago that Bernie Madoff was busted duping his fellow Jews with impossibly high returns on investments. Greed and misplaced faith were their downfall.

Now it's the Christians' turn:

"It was a good place where Christians would be investing in the work of other Christians," said Karen Lamb, a 55-year-old Terre Haute, Ind, housewife.

More than five years later, the Lambs still are waiting to get most of their $53,000 investment back. Now a former pastor is going on trial for what authorities call a multimillion-dollar scheme that preyed on thousands of parishioners who thought they were helping build churches but were actually buying the man and his sons planes and sports cars.

Authorities say Reeves, founder and owner of now-defunct Alanar, and his three sons duped about 11,000 investors into buying bonds worth $120 million secured by mortgages on construction projects at about 150 churches. The men diverted money from new investments to pay off previous investors, pocketing $6 million and buying two airplanes, sports cars and vacations, according to court records.
Officials say the scheme operated mainly in Indiana, though church members in other states, including Florida, Michigan, Maryland and Oklahoma, also were victimized.

(courtesy HuffPo)

When will people learn that a common religion does not equate common values, that thieves are thick among religious folk, as they are with all folk, and--most importantly--that you should never invest ALL of your money in one place?

Probably never, so maybe it's a blessing in disguise that most people out there have no money to invest thanks to the Lords of Wall Street and the Chamber of Commerce.

In the meantime, be wary your fellow churchgoers...

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Everybody Wants to Be a Soprano

I didn't think $10,000 could buy that much these days, but I guess I was wrong.

Troopergate et al in Wasila, Blagojevich gets caught selling a Senate seat, Sanford is busted hypocritically lying about an affair, California goes bankrupt trying to please every special interest around, now it's New Jersey's turn for a black eye.

The surprising thing is not that several mayors and state officials were guilty of rampant corruption--I'm no babe in the suburbs here--and not even that they had the rare luck to get caught and indicted for it, but rather that we are talking about such paltry sums.

Ten grand? I know those piles start to add up (I hear), but still...bold. And stupid. Congratulations, assholes!


My two favorite parts of the story:

Levy-Izhak Rosenbaum of Brooklyn, was accused of enticing vulnerable people to give up a kidney for $10,000 and then selling the organ for $160,000.

Is 'ten grand' some kind of religious hocus pocus that gets people to do anything a rabbi wants him to? Who the hell would sell a kidney for $10,000? How often did this work? Why am I not in this line of work?

Also:

The timing of the investigation dovetails with the timing of bank fraud charges against Solomon Dwek, son of the founders of the Deal Yeshiva, a religious school that teaches children in the Sephardic Jewish tradition. Mr. Dwek passed a $25 million bad check at a PNC Bank branch in 2006, according to The Asbury Park Press.

What? Who the hell tries to pass off a bad check for TWENTY-FIVE MILLION dollars? How does one find the courage to attempt such a daring feat?

"No, don't worry about it--it's reverse psychology, man--it's SO much money that they will be LESS suspicious than if it's just for some little skidmark like $10,000. Cuz, like, who would ever have the balls for such a thing? Right? Trust me."
"Well, okay--but we should definitely have the rabbi take it in, just to be safe, so we can have religion on our side..."
"Oh, of course--I was thinking the same thing."

The next day, at a PNC Bank in the ghetto...

"Alright, I just need to call in to check on this and then we'll be all set."
"Oh, you don't need to call it in--it's real."
"We're talking about $25 million here--I need to check with the account holder."
"Come on, you can trust me--I'm a rabbi!"
"I don't trust anybody--I'm a banker. Excuse me."

Ha, ha, ha--what an idiot, right? It's good to laugh.


And it's okay, too, because--as the article notes three times--the Jews involved were not the average, everyday Jews you know and love, the kind that only go to temple for high holidays and often remind you of the Holocaust neither of you were around for, but never of the fact that their unnecessary (and not universally beloved) land theft to create Israel is one of the main reasons the United States/Nations is involved in an endless war on terrorism; the kind that it is NOT okay to have a laugh at, ever, in light of their eternal suffering, yadda yadda.

These were Syrian Jews, so, you know, they might as well be straight-up towelheads, right? Where is Syria on a map, right? No big surprise to John Q. Public that they are a corrupt and devious fringe branch of the Jewish faith--the shock is the absence of a sensational, Rove/Cheney/Murdoch-planted mention of a potential link to Al-Qaeda in the article.


In other news, a Catholic priest just confessed to raping 1000 little boys over the last 40 years and repeatedly lying about it in court. He was sentenced to ten Hail Marys and transferred to a different parish to end his days in peace and pleasure.

Thank God for confession, right? Heaven will be so sweet...

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The Jews Have Gone Crazy!

Just when you thought it was safe to be around super religious people...haha...something awful like this happens and reminds you to STAY THE FUCK AWAY.

Can you imagine what it might be like to be "drenched in spit?"

Please do because I'd rather not.

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Lip Service

For all those Americans/Religious People out there who are unfamiliar with the concept, here is a pretty concise and accurate definition of the term:

lip service
n. Verbal expression of agreement or allegiance, unsupported by real conviction or action; hypocritical respect: "Lip service continues to be paid to resolving regional conflicts, but there is no sense of urgency" (Henry A. Kissinger).


Okay, so, now let's look at a few examples of this:

"I've been shitting my pants for decades, but I'm still fit to rule!"

- Strom Thurmond was one of the most racist people in the country, so he of course represented the South in Congress for about 200 years. 'Unrelated' is the fact that he had an affair--and child--with a 16 year-old black servant in his parent's house, when he was 22. It is hard to believe this is the only time it 'happened.' More likely, this was the only time he fathered a child (that he knew of). I am reminded of the David Cross impression: "I will fuck the help, but I will not pay them a living wage...My johnson is color-blind and it is the bane of my existence."

Ha! They believed us!

- George Bush, and others of his ilk, win elections because so many dumb people believe them when they say they are moral, that they are god-fearing, and that they believe in family values. The fact that many of these guys have done drugs, slutted around town, stabbed a hundred people in the back, and are later CAUGHT soliciting prostitutes, leading innocent young men to slaughter for no reason, cheating on their taxes, insisting that people be tortured, etc, seems to not matter, seems to not change things at all among their followers. Now imagine how many of them are clever enough to not get caught. Does it matter? No. Because most people don't read anything, don't pay attention, don't think critically, always assume people are nice and take them at their word. They hear the speech where said candidate says they are moral, and that is good enough for them!

Bishop Richard Williamson - seems like a nice guy

- The current Pope---I believe it is perhaps Pope Weinerschnitzel IV--has asked newly-un-ex-communicated Bishop Richard Williamson to take back his countless public statements denying the Holocaust. What possible good would that do? Would anybody actually think that he changed his mind? Sadly, a mere apology and hollow recanting would probably convince most Catholics out there; that is why they are so easily led.


Sorry to get on my bitch box like that, but I just felt compelled after reading this.

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The Masters of Convenient Indecision

Of course the United States abstained from voting on the UN Security Council Resolution to halt the fighting in Gaza. Of course. What was their excuse?

"Well...we...have Jews here...that...are...powerful, I guess. And we're afraid to ever cross Israel, because we know our Jews will bring up the Holocaust again and say everybody hates them and that will put us in an awkward spot. We're not really sure why they need to have a homeland, since Judaism is a religion, and religion knows no national borders...and furthermore, we're not sure why they had to pick the place where a bunch of other people were living and already worshipping...but we support them anyway and give them money and weapons and have their back no matter how many other countries go against them for justified reasons, and no matter how many lives this alliance costs the United States."

I think the REAL reason, however, is that they have total props for the Israeli army's style.
It reminds them of some of their own best efforts in Iraq, Afghanistan, and...just about every country in South/Central America.

Here are some sample facts and figures:

- Women and children make up 40% of the 750 dead so far; 257 of them being children
- Over 1500 women and children are injured; 1080 of them being children
- The other day, 41 civilians were killed when a UN school was targeted
- Civilians are trapped and deprived of food and water for days
- Red Cross aid workers keep being accidentally killed by Israeli troops, so they are temporarily abandoning their efforts to help the 20,000 displaced Palestinians

Here is my favorite slice of the New York Times article on this:

“Look at the conditions in Gaza: more and more, it resembles a big concentration camp,” Cardinal Renato Martino, the head of the Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace, said in an interview published Wednesday in Il Sussidiaro.

He defended his comments in the center-left Italian daily La Repubblica on Thursday. While noting that Hamas rockets into Israel were “certainly not sugared almonds,” he called the situation in Gaza “horrific.” Israel sharply condemned the cardinal’s use of World War II imagery. “We are astounded that a spiritual dignitary would have such words that are so far removed from truth and dignity,” said Yigal Palmor, a spokesman for the Israeli Foreign Ministry.

The Vatican sought to play down the remarks, calling them inopportune.

Two thoughts:

1. "Inopportune?" That is a great response. You would have to be the Vatican to get away with that one. So...they're not saying it was not a good comparison, it was just delivered at the wrong time (when reporters were around?). That is their way of 'apologizing.' The Catholics vs. the Jews! It's on! Finally!

2. It might not be like a concentration camp, but it does seem comparable to a ghetto. So...the WWII imagery is not that far off. Palestinians were trapped behind military barricades, foreigners were allowed to leave, and then the Israeli troops started killing off the troublesome ones that fight back, as well as anybody else they feel like; aid workers cannot get in to help, people are starving to death in the streets, children are wasting away alongside their mother's corpses. The only thing that makes it not like WWII is that the persecuted are not Jews, gays, or gypsies. Does that mean it doesn't count?

Well, I think the soap box just caved in, so I'd better find something else to do with myself...

The Man They Call Madoff

I think it's funny that the biggest 'story' in the Bernard Madoff $50 billion Ponzi-scheme story is that Jewish people across the nation are utterly shocked that a Jewish man would do something like this to his clients, most of whom are evidently Jewish people, Jewish companies, Jewish charities, and Jewish schools.

Here is what I have to say to those people:

Jews are just people. Some people are crooked. Maybe if you realized this beforehand, you would have looked more carefully at where you were putting your life savings. Consistent, double-digit returns are an impossibility; it was too good to be true, but you trusted him because he was a Jew and so are you; you were stupid. End of story.

Not to mention the fact that anybody who puts all their money in one basket is a square-one idiot. I feel no sympathy for rich people in Palm Beach selling their six-figure jewelry to pay their condo association dues. Rather, I laugh. Haha!


What will become of Bernard Madoff? Will he ever be able to redeem himself in the eyes of his God?

“It is not possible for him to atone for all the damage he did,” the rabbi said, “and I don’t even think that there is a punishment that is commensurate with the crime, for the wreckage of lives that he’s left behind. The only thing he could do, for the rest of his life, is work for redemption that he would never achieve.” (courtesy NYTimes)

So much for forgiveness...