Fat Friday, Vol.6

Happy eating this weekend!

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Fat Friday, Vol.5

Due to intense lobbying by the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, KFC has finally bowed to the pressure and combined the deliciosity of bacon, cheese, and fried chicken into one artery-clogging pseudo-sandwich wad of grease their membership has been clamoring for lo these many years.

Fried chicken as bread, huh? How come nobody thought of this before? Oh yeah, because chicken used to be real meat with bones in it and people didn't use to require bacon with every meal.


So, whether you are lean, mean and unhappy, or maybe just a bit pudgy and finally looking to get serious about becoming obese, then KFC's soon-to-be-released Double-Down is for you.

To be on the safe side, I recommend lining up outside your local KFC by midnight on April 11th, so that you are fully prepared to arrest your heart with this deliciously fried, 99% non-meat super treat at the very first opportunity.

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Fat Friday: Vol.4

Beware that bottomless pasta bowl at Olive Garden this weekend, America--it will catch up with you!

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Fat Friday Vol.3

Looking for a New Year's resolution? Try losing 100 pounds this year.

Regardless of your starting weight, this seems like a good idea to me, as it will not only result in extremely fat people becoming less revolting, but also less traffic on the roads when you consider how many normal people will starve themselves to death or amputate vital limbs.

Huzzah!

Where does one acquire a shirt of this size?

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