Without giving too much away, one of my most recent searches resulted in me stumbling upon a man named David Foster.
Here is his website:
www.davidfoster.com
Here is the pretentious title of his "hot" new autobiography:
"Hitman: Forty Years Making Music, Topping Charts & Winning Grammys"
Here is the reality of his career:
He wrote a couple Olympic themes, scored "St. Elmo's Fire" and produced some shitty songs for a lot of singers. He won an Emmy for a TV Special where children sang songs--like that would lose! There is no mention of him winning a Grammy, much less more than one. His songwriting seems to be confined to Katharine McPhee album-fillers. But you try telling him that! He's a big, bright, shining star, hater!
Here is the most fitting moment in his life:
His third wife (the real songwriter of the couple) divorced him the day after a "staged-reality" TV show premiered, in which David Foster tried to force his two stepsons to grow up and be men.
Here is my favorite chunk of text from his wikipedia entry:
"During the 1990s he often performed acts with San Diego vocalist Warren Wiebe who he had discovered in the restroom of a hotel bar in 1987. In 1994 he had Wiebe put together a band called Millennium featuring Nita Whitaker and a few session vocalists but the deal with Foster's record company led to the group's demise. Warren was Foster's 'mouth' on many of his videos but took his own life before he could release a solo album."
He discovered him in a hotel bathroom and made him his 'mouth?'
Doesn't this 'hitman' have a publicist?
Is that publicist equally unqualified for his title?
Yes.
Do I hope they both read this?
Yes.
_
4 comments:
What do you mean David Foster has never won a grammy? He's won fifteen and has been nominated forty-three times. You don't do that by not having talent.
I didn't say he has never won a Grammy; I said his wikipedia entry--which he and his publicist have every ability to control (and probably wrote themselves)--had no mention of Grammy wins.
In revisiting that page, I now see those exact statistics you quoted mentioned at the very bottom. So, either I missed it the first time and apologize for my error, or you decided to update the page yesterday. Who knows.
Regardless, thanks for filling me in. Also, so you know, winning a Grammy for producing some shitbox Celine Dion song does not imply talent.
OMG! I happen to LOVE Celine Dion...have you ever seen Titanic??
I actually worked on a job with this prick, believe it or not. The JC Penny Jam. One of those concerts on CBS with singers like Kenny Chesny and that blind Italian guy and John Legend--you know, for retards. Anyway, David Foster spent the afternoon rehearsal screaming at the sound board guy because the mix wasn't right, acting like he was producing the world premiere of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring rather than a concert hosted by Dr. Phil (also a prick).
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