Every Little Bit Helps

 "What do I look like, the President?"

He was a moron. A friendly-enough-seeming guy with fantastically devious puppeteers and a name enough dumb people recognized to sweep him into the highest office in the land by a whopping...oh, by a questionable margin, actually; perhaps even a negative one. Twice.

Bonus Trivia:
The 2000 US Presidential contest was the closest in US history since Rutherford B. Hayes up and stole that shit in 1876. Huh. Same old shit...

This being the case--especially once you throw in everything else that transpired from 2000-2008 and consider that I am a man with blood coursing through my veins--I always enjoy hearing tell of every. single. slight. to His Idiocy George W. Bush, no matter how trivial.

These small gems certainly don't make up for what should happen to W--Navy SEALS should hold him on the bronze knee of the Lincoln Memorial while everybody in the world gets three whacks on his bottom with a weapon of their choice--but they are gratifying nonetheless and life is about the simple pleasures, right?

A la Reuters, via Huffington Post:

Former U.S. President George W. Bush has cancelled a visit to Switzerland, where he was to address a Jewish charity gala, due to the risk of legal action against him for alleged torture, rights groups said on Saturday.

Human rights groups said they had intended to submit a 2,500-page case against Bush in the Swiss city on Monday for alleged mistreatment of suspected militants at Guantanamo Bay, the U.S. naval base in Cuba where captives from Afghanistan, Iraq and other fronts in the so-called War on Terror were interned.

Leftist groups had also called for a protest on the day of his visit next Saturday, leading Keren Hayesod's organisers to announce that they were cancelling Bush's participation on security grounds -- not because of the criminal complaints.

But groups including the New York-based Human Rights Watch and International Federation of Human Rights (FIDH) said the cancellation was linked to growing moves to hold Bush accountable for torture, including waterboarding. He has admitted in his memoirs and television interviews to ordering use of the interrogation technique that simulates drowning.

"He's avoiding the handcuffs," Reed Brody, counsel for Human Rights Watch, told Reuters.

Great to see Switzerland out there in play. We don't hear too much about them lately. All that bad press about Nazi gold/art/cash, the US tax-dodger settlement, and their generally obscene wealth/greed must have had some money thrown at it in laundry bags. They're so quiet now. Living up there in all those mountains, with all that money, with all those watches and wheels of cheese and chocolates and privilege...you never know really know what they're up to.

So I'm glad to hear it isn't all bad out that way. Kudos to you for lodging the fear of retribution deep into the cerebral cortex of somebody who totally deserves it, Switzerland. I wish more countries were like you.

Like maybe mine.

Also, I have a special note for the Swiss human rights groups behind this whole thing, in two parts [Nooobody else read this. Seriously. -Ed]:

1. I could kiss you on your rosy alpine cheek. Keep up the good work.

2. I wager that a hard copy of said "2,500-page case against Bush"--each page autographed by a celebrity worth a damn, maybe?--would fetch a pretty ruble at auction. What self-respecting citizen of the world wouldn't shell out for that shit? And if the proceeds went to a good cause--like a Financial/Health-Care-Reform-Oriented Congressional Bribery Fund (FHCROCBF), Doctors Without Borders, the purchase and destruction of all jorts in existence, etc.--I think a deliciously large pile of money could be raised in good fun at the dinner party of the season. Maybe we'll all even go sledding down that pile on silver trays as we casually blow kisses to this generation's Marlene Dietrich. [Who would that be, by the way? -Ed.] Who knows?!

Well, do not fear, fair readers; I know. And, of course, good, old Goodtime Charlie will be there, since I am forever blessed to be everywhere worth being at every moment. I look forward to receiving my gilt invitation via a private courier service (handsome boys only, puhleeze!) shortly, in fact.

Hope to see you all there and keep the pressure up just enough on that sumbitch to make sure he never leaves Texas. That way no humans will ever have to see him again! OH!!!

Sorry, Texas, but I just really don't like you. And it's personal.

Dubya, giving it his all in an audition for a retirement role of 'Swiss Banker'

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