Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Vince James?

 Who knew these guys both had such perfect skin?

A mere glance at the poster for the new Vince Vaughn/Kevin James waste-of-time The Dilemma on my way to the sulphur mines this morning confirms what I have feared for a while now--Kevin James and Vince Vaughn have fused their hands together and are spinning around in circles laughing at each other's stale jokes as crumbs tumble from their bespittled lips, their jiggly centers of mass gradually moving closer to impact.

Eventually--I give it maybe two years, tops--their ever-enlarging torsos will collide, their bodies bursting into millions of pieces that will continue to orbit Hollywood along the same path until these little turdlettes coalesce into one larger, more formidably awful superturd that will indubitably acquire several sycophantic moons in the Brett Ratner mold and reign over a large swath of Hollywood for many years to come.

A bone-chilling reminder that the continuing evolution of the universe is not always a good thing; in fact, the creation/destruction cycle puts our odds at only 50%.

Happy New Year, Planet Earth!


No comments: