My New Favorite Website

Steve Forbes

There aren't too many things in existence that I wish I had created myself (Five Easy Pieces, Tropic of Cancer, American Psycho, The Office, Sticky Fingers...), so although today has just begun, it has already been a day for the ages.

As I was trolling through Huffington Post--ie, reading the morning paper--I stumbled upon a website that I totally should have started a long time ago. It's called "Tea Party Jesus: The Words of Christians in the Mouth of Christ" and it is a stunning work of absurdist political comedy.

Check out a few of my favorite works after the jump and click on the name of the speaker for a link to the quote source. Also, if you can't read the text, just click on the image to enlarge it.

If there was ever a wedding to nuke...

That hearing aid practically gets her off by itself. You should try it sometime.

It was Rush Limbaugh's recent embarrassingly expensive wedding to his fourth wife:

...according to a News Corporation wire report, the Rocket Man, 63, serenaded the 400 guests into the wee hours Saturday night to celebrate the marriage of Limbaugh, 59, to Kathryn Rogers, 33, in the Ponce de Leon ballroom of Florida's fabled Breakers hotel in Palm Beach. Sir Elton's fee: $1 million, the report notes.

Amid dozens of giant bouquets of white roses (and very tight security), reports the Palm Beach Post, guests at the wedding included former Bush adviser Karl Rove; actor-politician Fred Thompson; former Kansas City Royals slugger George Brett; Fox News commentator Sean Hannity; former New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani; New England Patriots owner Bob Kraft; former Clinton adviser James Carville and his wife, GOP analyst Mary Matalin; and golfer Tom Watson. A wedding guest also tells PEOPLE that among the others was Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas.

Rush Limbaugh as Speaker of the House?

Rush + Lindsay. Words cannot express...

Hahahahahahahahaha. It could happen:

The House of Representatives elects the Speaker of the House. Whoever receives a simple majority of the votes is elected and, after election, is sworn in by the Dean of the House, the chamber's longest-serving member. There is no requirement in the Constitution that the speaker must also be a current member of the House of Representatives to serve as speaker; however, every speaker elected has also been an elected representative.

(courtesy wikipedia.org)

Wait a minute--the Speaker doesn't even have to be a member of the House? The second warm body in line for the presidency doesn't need to be elected by the people?

So, in practical terms, if the Dark Side parlays Obama's gross inaction and Nancy Pelosi's appalling inefficacy into a 2010 simple majority in the House, they could presumably chose GOP ponyboy Rush Limbaugh to formally set the Republican Congress' agenda for the entire second half of Obama's first term? The half where we hope he is maybe actually going to start doing things?

Uh-oh.

Now, I'm not saying those immoral, philandering windbags would have the guts, the profound lack of intelligence, or the willingness to selflessly step out of line, but let's not forget these are the same fascinating people that plucked Sarah Palin from deserved obscurity.

In related news, check out this photograph of one of the most famous Speakers of the House, Henry Clay:


Wow.

Get outta my nightmares, Lon Chaney!

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