There is Nothing to Fear

This just in:

(courtesy Videogum)

I have to admit--I was secretly elated to hear this news. I've been seriously worried about this shit since like October, thought the end of the world (as we know it) was nigh.

So...champagne anyone? I stockpiled just in case and now it will all go bad before I would ever want to finish it by myself in a non-apocalypse situation.

I shouldn't give my address out online, cuz there are creeps out there who would send me feces-smeared love notes in broken English, so just meet me in the park. I'm easy to find when you want to--I'll be the creep talking to himself on a park bench, wearing a vest because I'm afraid of drowning, and giving everybody the stinkeye. Let's be friends.

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Gwyneth Paltrow Is Unhappy With Her Body

Ever the trend-setter--just another side effect of her unstoppable genius--the lovely Gwyneth decided to leapfrog all those plastic surgery fools and go straight to the cutting-edge shit.

Since her legs were getting "icky," she decided to just cut them off and have a couple anatomically-correct, scientifically-miraculous, animatronic legs attached in their place.

Expect the blindingly-glossy sheen to be cut way down with the upcoming second generation.

Until then, for your own safety, please try to avoid looking directly at Mrs. Paltrow's legs--especially if you are operating heavy machinery in her vicinity. Her legal defense fund will thank you.

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My Favorite Drawing

From This Interesting (That It Exists) Website

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Keep Lying to Yourself...

I read an article online today about a 33 year-old guy named Trung Le, who lives in Ontario, Canada, with his parents. Weird, right?

Hold on tight--it gets weirder.

This guy has spent $25,000 building a robot--female, of course--that has a vocabulary of 13,000 words and can tell you the weather. Her name is Aiko.


According to her creator--who, oddly, has no girlfriend--Aiko is NOT designed for sex, although her body was fashioned out of a fully-anatomically-correct, state-of-the-art Japanese sex doll.

When asked what exaclty she was designed for, Trung's answer was pretty weak:

"Le sees possible applications within homes for the elderly, inside hospitals or the military, working reception or providing airport security. He also sees her as a research tool for developing fully-sensing limb replacements for people who've had an amputation."

Yeah, right. Sounds conveniently vague to me...

Here are the questions I would ask Trung Le if given the chance:

1. Why is your robot a woman?
2. Why did she have to have hair?
3. Why does a robot not designed for sex need pliable breasts and a lifelike vagina?
4. How does dressing her up like an intergalactic space stewardess and banging her senseless in your parents' basement help the elderly?


For the full article, click here

For the wikipedia entry about Project Aiko, click here

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