Happy New Year to Those Less-Fortunate Men Out There

 
Like this guy.

And this guy:

(courtesy Getty Images)

And this guy:

And especially this guy:

I hope things get better for all of you this year, but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you. Or, wait a minute--I probably would...til I pass out while reclining in a bubble bath.

Hell can't be any worse, right? Might as well give it a shot.

_

For Some Reason

For some reason, I wanted to see what Joe Francis was up to these days. I wanted to see what matter of hilarious new scandals he is embroiled in these days.

I was in no way prepared for THIS.

Does somebody up there love me enough to provide such amusement, such fodder? Or does the credit belong to somebody operating far beneath me, perhaps even picturesquely engulfed in somehow-dark flames?

Regardless, thanks for the laughs!

_