Just Found Another Dream Job!

"Butt Make-Up Artist" for Victoria's Secret fashion shows

Thanks for opening my eyes, Huffington Post!

This year's Victoria's Secret fashion show brought together balloons, lace, fake fur, thigh-high boots...oh, and a $3 million dollar, diamond-encrusted bra. But how do the models manage to look so perfect wearing next to nothing on the catwalk?

Simple: Butt makeup.

One Angel, Selita Ebanks, told the New York Daily News: "It's all about creating the illusion of this amazing body on the runway. People don't realize that there are about 20 layers of makeup on my butt alone."

Ebanks said the body makeup takes an hour to apply, plus hair and face makeup, which takes three to five hours. An average of five people works on each of the 38 models.

Sounds great to me, regardless of pay rate/benefits, as long as they don't fart.

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Now I Remember Why I Didn't Apply for This Job

Because, for some reason I can't quite put my finger on, I figured just about any reasonably-attractive girl in a bikini would probably beat me out for the role of Video Blogger On A Tropical Beach.

More importantly, who cares if the Russian minx is a porn actress? Was that in the rules? Is it really a problem? Is American prudery overtaking the globe at breakneck pace?

Must not be a porn actress--we don't want some sexy woman prone to flaunting her body and generating unbelievable amounts of free publicity; that is not what this whole affair is about...

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