Saturday, October 9, 2010

The Hottest Waste of Time in Years!

Question: In what manner are the pictures on the right better than those on the left?

Correct Answer: No manner. I cannot think of one possible reason why somebody would ever want an image to show less skin in order to increase arousal. The best possible matte to place on either of the images above would be one shaped exactly the size of the bathing suit--no more, no less--but that would be a complete waste of time, as those parts of her body are already covered by a bathing suit.

Answer Its Creator Wishes Was Correct: Every way, dude! Or at least in enough ways to make the purchase of his app that 'shittifies' otherwise titillating photos/cartoons worth a minimum of ninety-nine cents. Look at the bubbles! You can move them around to cover up her legs and shit! Awesome! I totally need to viral this shit on the Twitterne for major cool-dude pointst! [air guitar]

Here's how this totally fun app works, dudes and dudettes:
When you upload a photo of a swimsuit-clad figure, the program applies a transparent layer that you can manipulate using the iPhone's touch screen. You can poke holes--bubbles--in the surface of the transparent layer, opening up patches of skin while keeping clothed areas hidden. You can drag the bubbles around with your finger and resize them by pinching. When you're done, the swimsuit should be completely covered and the exposed areas of skin should imply nudity. After you save your work, you can share it over email, Facebook, Twitter and Flickr.
(courtesy HuffPo)
In other words, you have to actually do WORK to ruin swimsuit photos for no reason, after paying for the privilege.

If this is the direction we are headed as a tech-addled global community, a cave on an island somewhere--the kind where people never hear about world wars ending--is sounding better every second.


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