A man was recently stopped by authorities in the Mexico City airport and discovered to have 18 tiny endangered monkeys in his girdle, two of them dead, all of them wrapped up in small sacks.
According to Huffington Post, when authorities asked the man what the fuck was going on, he told them "he was carrying the monkeys in a suitcase but decided to put them in his girdle 'so the X-rays wouldn't hurt them.'"
The Mirdle
First off, why does this man wear a girdle, if not for the sole purpose of smuggling monkeys? I have never met a man--especially from the Latin world--with a bulging belly that didn't seem proud of it, who didn't allow its burgeoning girth to stop them from pounding beers by the dozen and lounging on hammocks in the backyard while casually explaining to the TV how athletes could do what they are doing much better.
