This Is What a Douchebag Looks Like

Ventral view

Dorsal view

I wonder who would win in a douche-off--Mr. CooL ICE or the Governor of California.

Before becoming Governor, Herr Schwarzenegger used to freeze things for a living

I'd say the odds are 50/50, considering these days Arnold walks around like his entire body is broken, and as long as the proceeds went to a charity that didn't spend 90% of their donations on operating costs, I'd sure buy a front-row seat.

Does Don King still do this shit? If so, give that motherfucker a call for me...

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New Guinness Record for Douching!

Just when you thought shit was dire, what with another corrupt financial executive hanging himself the other day, a pair of plucky Pennsylvanians just went out there and gave us all a reason to smile til we die.

217,000 reasons, actually--217,000 discreet text messages that said "LOL"

What the hell is the point of that? This is something to which they aspired? Something for which they 'worked' tirelessly?

Perhaps those two gaybirds should receive a Guinness-accredited record for "most effective broadcasting of worthlessness" instead.

Bonus: How badly do you think the married one's wife regrets that decision these days?

Hint: Even more than before

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