Turd Deemed 'Not Too Smelly,' Eaten By Millions with Nothing Better to Do with Their Time, Money

People of all stripes often wonder why better movies aren't made these days, without stopping to realize they might be--if the shitty ones weren't making so much goddamn money.

Seriously, as much as I would like it not to be true, what motivation is there these days for the men in charge to alter their modus operandi?


Case in point:
Excluding marketing costs in the neighborhood of $40 million (which are never factored into a budget, for some reason) the $150 million Tom Hanks/Ron Howard stinkbomb DaVinci Code II has already broken even, after a $152 million global box office take in its opening weekend.

Assuming an average ticket price of USD$10, that means 15 million people spent ten dollars and 2hrs+20min of their time to see this movie over a mere three day period--appalling, but, sadly, not unexpected.


The fact that none of the audience members adored it, that most of them left the theater saying "eh, it was...good..." to each other will not prevent them from seeing the third one, which is no doubt already being cooked up by Dan Brown, Ron Howard, and Satan as we speak, at the chef's table of an Argentinian steakhouse somewhere...

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The Worst Music Video Ever

It's Jamie Foxx's new joint--featuring Jake Gyllenhaal, Samuel L. Jackson (who never moves in it), Forrest Whitaker, and Ron Howard.

Enjoy.

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Thoughts on 'Frost/Nixon'

As much as I love to hate Ron Howard , I watched Frost/Nixon tonight and must admit I found it compelling.

The story was marvelously told and moved through difficult territory with surprising efficiency--with the glaring exception being the scene in which Richard Nixon shouted at David Frost over the phone, breaking down the similarities between both men, pumping up his adversary like a particularly inspiring coach.

Whose side is he on again?

The fact that later in the movie Nixon does not remember the phone call seems convenient. His arrogance and venomous bullying are so hard-wired that they escape even his own consciousness--I get it. It seems a ham-handed way to psyche the audience up for a heartwarming "good triumphs over evil" finish that at this point in the movie seems well-undeserved.

But what do I know? Maybe Mr. Howard got his audience right:

"We'd better see him sweat it out now, Marjorie; we'd better see a lot of shots of him doing his homework and being exhausted if this is going to turn out all right and not make me displeased with my experience at the cinema this evening..."

I would rather just see reality.



Also worth noting is that Kevin Bacon appears to be a fourteen year old boy wearing his father's suit in this movie--was that somehow an asset to his role? Or was it merely an innocent mistake that Mr. Howard will regret for the rest of his existence?

I'd love to ask him that hard question on camera. And make him sweat!


All that aside, however, I thought the boxing-match structure to the story was elegantly appropriate and a great pacing device for what could easily have been a sluggish story. An opening befitting a consummate professional.

I like it like my asshole friend likes his meat--well done.

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