Dick James

(photo by Goodtime Charlie - Caesar's Palace, LV, NV)

Eureka!

I have finally discovered the link between Lennon/McCartney and Elton John/Bernie Taupin, two of the greatest musical partnerships the world has ever known.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Dick James, courtesy of wikipedia:

Early Life

He was born in the East End of London.

Early days

James sang with North London dance bands in his early teens, and was a regular vocalist at the Cricklewood Palais by the age of seventeen. He joined the Henry Hall band, and made first radio broadcast in 1940. Joining the Army in 1942, after World Was II he continued to sing with top post-war bands, including Geraldo's. Later still, James was also a part time member of The Stargazers, a popular early 1950s vocal group.

He was the singer of the Robin Hood and The Buccaneers theme songs, from British television in the 1950s, and was a friend and associate of renowned record producer George Martin.

Switch to publishing

James entered the music publishing business as his singing career tapered off, and in 1963 established Northern Songs Ltd., with Beatles John Lennon and Paul McCartney, to publish Lennon and McCartney's original songs. (Fellow Beatles George Harrison and Ringo Starr were also signed to Northern Songs as songwriters, but did not renew their contracts in 1968). James's company, DIck James Music, administered Northern Songs.

What initially began as an amicable working relationship between the Beatles and James disintegrated by the late 1960s; the Beatles considered that James had betrayed and taken advantage of them when he sold Northern Songs in 1969 without offering the band an opportunity to buy control of the publishing company. James profited handsomely from the sale of Northern Songs, but the Beatles never again had the rights to their own songs.

During the 1960s he also handled Billy J. Kramer and Gerry & The Pacemakers.

Later Days

James signed Elton John and his lyricist Bernie Taupin as untried unknowns in 1967, and formed DJM Records in '69. Indeed, all of John's early releases (up to 1976) were issued on the DJM record label. The label also carried Jasper Carrott, RAH Band, and even John Inman.

John formed his own Rocket label in 1976, but in 1982, John was involved in a long court case with James about royalties.

Death

James died of an heart attack in early 1986, at the age of 65.

Dick James, the leftmost of the two dorks in this photo

The guy sounds like he was probably a real asshole, but according to a story that I read once, he got Elton John and Bernie Taupin together via a classified ad, so ya gotta at least give him credit for that oh-so-perfect marriage of poet and musician.

Speaking of Elton John, he may not have handled his balding, age, or gayness as well as he should have and currently resembles a fat, depressed, androgynous penguin, but the guy used to be pretty cool:






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And a Good Day to You, Sir!

(photo courtesy KNS News, UK)

Some guy in Great Britain painted an exact replica of his penis on the roof of his parents' house.

Lucky bloke!

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Elementary, My Dear Professor Nutt!

So, you haven't tried ecstasy yet.

Well, it's probably for the best, since you will most likely want to do it again, and again, and that isn't very good for your brain.

If you'd like to simulate the experience, the only thing I can think of that comes close is riding a horse. But, wait--no! Don't do it! It's too dangerous!



How somebody named Professor Nutt, who has such 'interesting' theories, rose to a position of power and influence within the British medical community is beyond me.

Did he pass out free smiley-face pot cookies at the meeting where they voted, and everybody got so confused they voted for the funniest name?

Probably--Brits never say no to sweets.

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Are You An Artist?

If you have had sex with 4 or more partners, then the answer is yes.

The craziest thing about this Guardian article (well, sanctioned blog entry) is not the outlandish assertions of the article itself, but the unbelievably numerous and varied user comments posted along with it. The article is about one page in length; the comments will last easily an entire lunch break.

I have never seen this many comments posted on anything; nor have I ever seen comments reveal a more fascinating cross-section of a nation/commonwealth.

Here are my favorites, with comments. Enjoy!

"I'm an artist , and have been in a monogomous(more or less) [sic] relationship for twenty years. Before that I had more than a hundred sexual partners, however. Just thought you'd like to know."

Posted by andrew birch on November 30, 2005 2:03 PM.

"More or less?" What does that mean, birch? 'Monogamous' is a pretty specific term...and how old are you, by the way? Regardless of your answer, well done!

"Morrissey is no contradiction. Any miserabilist who makes his name singing endlessly about the alienation and misanthropy of bedsit narcissism to the same tune shouldn't be having any sex and shouldn't be called 'creative'."

Posted by scrittipolitti on November 30, 2005 5:26 PM.

Wow. 'Miserabilist?' That's a great new word; but 'bedsit narcissism' is a phrase that blows it right out of the water. Were it socially acceptable, I would marry that phrase.

"I'm sure lawyers have more sex. They f*** everyone."

Posted by roy fox on November 30, 2005 5:58 PM.

The easy joke--but that doesn't mean it isn't also funny. Well done, roy fox! You somehow managed to overcome your tragic council-bedsit narcissism and drop the right joke at just the right moment. You can now begin the brief, steep, downhill portion of your life...Cheers!

"What do you do with a creative man who is incapable of kissing and sort of bites instead and who is a very selfish lover? Can we say that he is expressing his art through his love-making? I think I should get rid of him anyway. I'm stuck in a poor Middle-Eastern suburb and if I get too horny and search out a mate, I might be arrested. And they greatly mistrust creative types here..."

Posted by Khalas on November 30, 2005 7:52 PM.

Dear Khalas,

It appears as though you have the misfortune of dating a standard British male--or somebody trained by one. I recommend you immediately fake your own death and emerge in the Western world, friendless but free to embrace your horny-ass self. Trust me, it'll be worth it; there is nothing in the world worse than caged heat.

"I have no knowledge of his endeavours in the bedroom, but Joseph Beuys (along with Mr C, one of the most influential Shamen [sic] of the last century) maintained that all men are artists. I tend to agree with him on that one, even if his work tends towards bogosity. Which means of course this study should be filed alongside other bits of Bad Science; as well as reminding us that being creative, like having sex, is really nothing special."

Posted by Splinno on November 30, 2005 9:35 PM.

First off, for all you non-Bill-&-Teds out there, courtesy of dictionary.com:

bogosity
/boh-go's*-tee/ The degree to which something is "bogus" in the hackish sense of "bad". At CMU, bogosity is measured with a bogometer; in a seminar, when a speaker says something bogus, a listener might raise his hand and say "My bogometer just triggered". More extremely, "You just pinned my bogometer" means you just said or did something so outrageously bogus that it is off the scale, pinning the bogometer needle at the highest possible reading (one might also say "You just redlined my bogometer"). The agreed-upon unit of bogosity is the microLenat.
Also, the potential field generated by a bogon flux; see quantum bogodynamics. See also bogon flux, bogon filter.
(2002-04-14) The Free On-line Dictionary of Computing, © 1993-2007 Denis Howe

Wait? What were we talking about? Oh, yeah--wait--you agree with him, but also think it is 'bad science?' Wait--sex 'is really nothing special?' You are a detriment to the species, dear Splinno; please mutilate your own genitals before God strikes you dead.

"Im an 'artist' and have yet to embrace this so called 'sex' craze,

because i'm not a licentious fool.
This ideology is the residual effect of my christian upbringing....

Only joking.
Im 16...My age group epitamizes promiscuity.

Again, this is a lie...I'm an anomaly to the rule that at 16, an influx of salacious behaviour occurs.
Im fat, you see. and a pretentious little twat.

Posted by Liam Lonergan on November 30, 2005 10:29 PM.

Who said honesty was dead? As clearly as they avoid apostrophes like the plague, fat and pretentious British 16-year-old males simply do NOT have sex. If you want to argue with that, please meet me in the middle of the English Channel for a preliminary dance-off.

"I have a very long personal experiencie of live in the world of the mind out of the normal experiencie of life. i have been a ill person blackboard in myself.NOW is very different,the life smiles me,I have avery good work,a long number of friends,love for myself and the mines,my husband,my mother.my brothers... But my personal history can be helpful for another persons that sufer my last problem."

Posted by quim on December 1, 2005 4:21 AM.

Please down another pint before speaking to me, good Quim--I am having trouble understanding your fancy new Oxbridge speech.

"tonight, there's an opening in town...it's fairly unimportant....I'm goig to fuck everyone there and pass my mad genes on to the richest of those that I fuck and maybe, just maybe they'll buy damn painting."

Posted by schizoid on December 1, 2005 11:58 AM.

Schizoid, please--not again. The last time you tried to sell 'damn painting,' we ended up with an entire globe full of idiots who put everyone's money in derivatives and destroyed your life...wait--is this just a cycle? Are you the devil? God?

"Clearly either artists are not promiscuous or they are not promiscuous enough. As a non-artist I am having a hard time meeting my urge to be promiscuous without paying a lot of money. Now perhaps I should become an artist - since it seems then I could be promiscuous on the cheap. On the other hand I could aim to get rich so I can afford to be promiscuous. I have aimed at the second route since it seems to have the lower risk vs. return ratio"

Posted by Randy Newman on December 1, 2005 2:15 PM.

Randy Newman? Is that you? Now it all makes sense--you are forgiven your sins, my brother.

"I don't know that getting a lot (or too much?!) destroys one's soul. I fear that this is the consolation of the prudish, the shy or the sexually enchained.
I think hot boffing and true love can quite happily be kept in separate compartments.
In my case, Dr Jekyll leads an exemplary monogonous [sic] existence, while Mr Hyde regularly goes out and "paints faces and sheets", as someone here so smartly and tartly put it."

Posted by CheererUpper on December 1, 2005 2:29 PM.

Finally, a voice of wisdom among the riff-raff. I guess the two sides of the coin will simply never understand the other. 'Hot boffing,' indeed, Mr. Hyde!

The final word:

"Artistic types make better lovers than non-artistic types. And researchers are only just 'discovering' this? Well duh, folks. Throughout the ages, history's great lovers, the Don Juans and the Casanovas, have all been poets or painters or musicians. No one ever talks about what a great lover King Henry the 8th was, whereas women still go ga-ga over Byron. This isn't new or surprising; it's common sense. The balding troll in office isn't sensitive and attuned to the delicaties of love; the love-sick poet, composing his sonnets, is. The business minded has a cold and clammy touch, the creative mind is sensitive and caressing. It's like asking a woman to choose between Donald Trump and Syd Barrett, 'You're FIRED!' or 'You're a lilac desire.'"

Posted by Sara on December 15, 2005 3:59 AM.

As any douchebag worth his salt might say--- 'nuff said.
The Syd Barretts always win.


Eat your hearts out, squares!

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