tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46849356003326921292012-01-17T03:22:21.330-08:00Nothing Is Sacred"The world belongs to those with teeth."
-Pier Paolo PasoliniGoodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.comBlogger7761100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-88242839996367776712011-03-24T01:53:00.000-07:002011-03-24T01:53:35.939-07:00Guess Who's Going to Bed?Nobody tells Sidney Poitier when to go to bed
In honor of Elizabeth Taylor's death today yesterday, I dampened my cheeks to the stylings of Katharine Hepburn in Guess Who's Coming to Dinner.
The movie was enjoyable and I even laughed out loud a few times, which is rare (ask my biographers that follow me everywhere and never have a good tip on a horse). Sidney Poitier was dashing, aggressive, Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-67814906121176349042011-03-24T01:24:00.000-07:002011-03-24T01:25:19.238-07:00Delightful News From the Middle CoastAt 1451ft, Chicago's Willis Tower (née Sears) is the tallest building in the Western World
Our associates in Chicago informed us recently that some of the news out there in this cold, dark world these days is good and we felt we should share:
The Sears Tower, lately unceremoniously renamed the Willis tower, is about to pioneer a kind of crazy-innovative window, one that produces power without Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-28838112251668361872011-03-22T16:27:00.000-07:002011-03-22T16:27:07.013-07:00Dick Captured by KGB
In keeping with this week's (year's?) penis theme, here is another one for ya--painted on a drawbridge facing the windows of FSB (née KGB) headquarters by Russian art-warriors Voina.
The folks at Voina have also thrown cats at McDonald's employees, staged a pantomime orgy at the Biology Museum, and generally just given the Putin/Medvedev camp the finger as many times as possible, in front of asGoodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-5357532290152771442011-03-18T09:40:00.000-07:002011-03-18T09:40:07.164-07:00Who Doesn't Love a Good Penis?
What would we do without people in the woods who have a lot of time on their hands and know how to use a chainsaw? Answer: Be way more bored.
Thank you, Woodmen of the World (WOW)!
_Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-46495516467784704022011-03-18T09:36:00.000-07:002011-03-18T09:36:22.977-07:00The Amish Need to Get RealEasily the most vain Amish people in the entire world
Amish communities in Illinois (which apparently exist) are upset over a law that will soon take effect in the state that will require photos on all firearm-owner identification cards.
Can you imagine being upset over that? It seems like a reasonable requirement (we require a photo to verify you are the correct person driving a car but not Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-13833849006866528812011-03-10T14:48:00.000-08:002011-03-10T14:48:53.100-08:00What Would YOU Do with $83,000?Probably nothing nearly as cool as what this mook did:
Miljenko Parserisas Bukovic at the top of his game
The gruesome details:
Parserisas, a 56-year-old newspaper seller from Mexico, revealed his inked artwork in a photo shoot in Valparaiso city.
He has so far spent a million Mexican pesos (just over £51,000) for the 82 tattoos. The newspaper vendor's obsession with tattoos of Roberts Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-72109336379951100622011-03-10T12:29:00.000-08:002011-03-10T12:29:45.043-08:00Brando on Brando, with a little Connie Chung on the side
_Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-20558905737094833572011-03-10T10:21:00.000-08:002011-03-10T10:21:41.775-08:00The Classics Revisited
Sometimes it's easy to be brilliant--all you have to do is have a great idea that is simple to execute and go ahead and do it. So go do it, Internet! For the kids, so they understand where we came from.
Thanks for the simple brilliance, Videogum/Internet--put another fur in your cap and keep up the good work.
_Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-59783173195572187962011-03-10T01:14:00.000-08:002011-03-10T01:19:26.609-08:00Fur in My Cap
Catchy little number, interesting visuals, professional, patient, smooth. All tha kiddies at school gonna be sangin' it soon, y'all...which means it is only a matter of time before Rob Roy (no relation) winds up on a reality show about dancing, eating contests, or some kind of Urban Survivor.
The pace of life has been greatly accelerated within my lifetime and I am certain it is a bad thing.
Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-46727200871574318132011-03-09T14:19:00.000-08:002011-03-09T14:20:15.933-08:00Because Why Not?
New York just seems so incredibly boring and normal I don't know how people there can stand it. They should all move to Los Angeles, where things are interesting...
Booger, Kitty, & Mousey walk the streets of West Hollywood
and for some reason people stare.
[Thanks for the tip, Videogum]
_Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-82467323760423370002011-03-09T11:53:00.000-08:002011-03-10T12:08:27.930-08:00The Green Dragon is a Superhero, Not a Villain
The Republican strategy over the last 40 years can be boiled down to one phrase: they are the party of discontent. It's easier to get mad about the state of the world than it is to fix it; it's easier to breed discontent than loyalty to a cause.
It's also easy to create chaos as a smokescreen to legislate morality and advance a selfish corporate agenda that favors the rich.
As the party seems Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-32523744022012915822011-03-09T11:23:00.000-08:002011-03-10T12:07:22.869-08:00The Great American Mistake
Coca-Cola is America. Or so they are always telling us.
Can anybody really argue? It was invented in America, patented in America, peddled in America, and mutated into a thriving international megacorporation by generations of enterprising American businessmen over the last 125 years (happy anniversary, btw).
Coca-Cola is a potent symbol of American ingenuity, a shining emblem of American Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-14929927371420628212011-03-03T21:12:00.000-08:002011-03-03T21:12:58.389-08:00¿Quieres bailar?Crack open a six-pack of Heineken, put on your headband, and turn this shit up:
The Ex is a Dutch band that has been jamming since 1979 and that will probably live forever, in one form or another. They used to be punk and now they are something else because they are older and more refined. Their first single was called Stupid Americans and their first 7" was called All Corpses Smell the SameGoodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-65731296534656014212011-03-02T15:49:00.000-08:002011-03-02T15:49:19.245-08:00Snapshot of America: March 2, 2011The most popular stories on the New York Daily News site. Read 'em and weep, America...
_Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-38751097897463020862011-03-01T12:25:00.000-08:002011-03-01T12:25:24.834-08:00It's March 1st--Do You Know Where Your D-List Load-Dropper Is?
For those of you who mopes out there who don't know what it means when people call you a mope, here is a fascinating education, courtesy of the LA Weekly:
The porn industry is many things. Subtle is not one of them. So when Porn Inc. went searching for a job title for people like Stephen Hill, the choice was "mope." It's based on the off-camera life of these fringe actors, hangers-on who mope Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-52059392912385645632011-03-01T10:48:00.000-08:002011-03-01T10:50:16.245-08:00Believe It, America(Glorious HuffPo snapshot courtesy GTC)
I know it's hard to believe, but apparently Oscar©-winner Natalie Portman has allowed a $50 dress to rub against her body voluntarily.
What might cause a woman like her to stoop to such a level? Well, I'm no omniscient psychiatric genius*, but clearly she is going through a phase--a rebellious phase wherein she gleefully thumbs her nose at the absurd worldGoodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-54354335120169359842011-02-28T21:26:00.000-08:002011-02-28T22:04:38.511-08:00Christian Bale Reacts to the Charlie Sheen Situation
"You think you're a fucking badass, Charlie? You're a small-screen trained monkey whose audience is far from discerning. They're gonna replace you with John Stamos, for Pete's sake. I'm Batman, Patrick Bateman, John Rolfe, John Connor, and a boxer from Boston.
"I grew up in Wales and even though you're nine years older than me I was chewing kids' ears off in the park for no reason at all ever Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-4157935795669104112011-02-25T20:18:00.000-08:002011-02-25T20:18:56.390-08:00Homeless Men of America's 'Great Depression Redux Charm Initiative' Still Going Smoothly
Dispatch from The Michigan Front:
PONTIAC, Mich. — A homeless man in southeast Michigan says a woman accidentally gave him a gold ring laced with diamonds when she handed him a handful of change.
Michael Secaur tells The Oakland Press that he was panhandling at an intersection in Pontiac on Monday when a woman pulled up in a vehicle and handed him some money. He says the ring was among some Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-42868048578589418052011-02-24T14:20:00.000-08:002011-02-24T14:20:36.393-08:00For Those a Y'all About to Get Romantic
Clock this, dawg--you done got showed-up fo-show!
And I bet when you woke up this morning curled up under your 2000-thread-count Hermês duvet with a soiled Playboy/girl stuck to your paw you thought you had this little boy right where you wanted him, totally out of contention for Romantic Person of the Year.
But the votes are in and you lost. 7,000,000,000 to 0.
¡Lo siento, cabron!
_Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-41858769975761091812011-02-23T14:39:00.000-08:002011-02-23T14:39:31.021-08:00A Man and a Woman, Indeed
Although he's been directing movies for almost fifty years, I had never heard of Claude Lelouch until the other day, when I rented a movie he made called A Man and a Woman (1966). This exquisite romance was nominated for four Oscars® during the 1966 season and declared Best Foreign Film and Best Screenplay. Not exactly a lightweight.
Much like Michaelangelo Antonioni, Lelouch was a documentary Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-56614800690210039512011-02-22T11:53:00.000-08:002011-02-22T11:53:05.782-08:00A Cinematic Revolution in Sleep Technology
Congratulations, The Lincoln Lawyer; not since 2006's The Wind That Shakes the Barley has the mere title of a movie made me slip into deep REM sleep with such immediacy.
Even if Matthew McConaughey were naked the entire movie and I was a raging homosexual with only McConaughey on the lower brain I would still avoid this movie like the plague.
Who needs to pay for a nap these days? Even if you Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-43679067539256285982011-02-21T14:39:00.000-08:002011-02-21T14:39:24.439-08:00Chink in Travolta's ArmorThe real John Travolta, on a hammock, in repose, with minimal make-up.(Photo courtesy The Superficial)
You know what they say about dominoes, right? As soon as one falls, they all knock into each other and make a mess or something. I think Sartre probably said it better in the original French, but you get the idea.
Yesterday, in a manner of speaking:
After decades of being an asshole in Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-33658156679030603852011-02-20T00:31:00.000-08:002011-02-20T00:31:02.972-08:00Nothing is Ever Easy
For those of you that have been in a coma for the last five weeks (you know who you are, I hope), please catch up on Nothing is Sacred Field Correspondent Fabio Sandrelli's "Operation Minsk" right here or none of the rest of this will make sense and you'll wind up calling the authorities on me and that just ain't cool. I'd much rather you just sat back, picked your teeth as you read a few Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-28773832960172884832011-02-07T17:44:00.000-08:002011-02-07T17:44:47.657-08:00My Favorite Movie of 2010
Although Black Swan was a fantastic cinematic experience--the best ending since There Will Be Blood?--and a just-in-time tour-de-force effort from Darren Aronofsky (I also loved Requiem for a Dream, but that's about it), after watching the vast majority of the movies I wanted to watch from this past year I can confidently state Blue Valentine was my favorite.
Sorry, Clash of the Titans, but I Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-12858657165869195802011-02-05T23:09:00.000-08:002011-02-05T23:11:32.097-08:00Every Little Bit Helps
"What do I look like, the President?"
He was a moron. A friendly-enough-seeming guy with fantastically devious puppeteers and a name enough dumb people recognized to sweep him into the highest office in the land by a whopping...oh, by a questionable margin, actually; perhaps even a negative one. Twice.
Bonus Trivia:
The 2000 US Presidential contest was the closest in US history since Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-12016044090649321632011-02-05T20:51:00.000-08:002011-02-05T20:51:54.179-08:00The Best Movie of 2009?Malik & Cesar, who both deservedly won Césars
Finally watched Jacques Audiard's gritty 2009 2hr35min masterpiece, Un Prophète (A Prophet). Yes, I said masterpiece and I am aware that is not a word that should be used as often as it is.
What made it so good? Well, it's interesting you ask because I was about to tell you...
Let's start with something a lot of reviewers neglect to mention about Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-88317745155390365132011-02-04T15:18:00.000-08:002011-02-04T15:18:28.602-08:00Minsk, the Pearl of the Tundra? Imagine this cell, but much smaller and pitch-black.
Finally got another missive from Nothing Is Sacred Field Correspondent Fabio Sandrelli, currently stationed in Minsk, Belarus for 2011. For those of you that missed his first dispatch, check it out here.
Enjoy,
GTC
04.02.2011 - OPERATION MINSK - DISPATCH 0002
My most sincere apologies for the delay in my second dispatch from this frozen Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-2157244080224916332011-02-04T12:32:00.000-08:002011-02-04T12:32:51.919-08:00Common-Sense Cagematch #1: Castro v. Berlusconi
Question: Who's more out-of-touch with reality--an 84 year-old oft-hospitalized Communist dictator under a decades-long trade embargo or a womanizing Italian billionaire president?
Answer: Silvio Berlusconi
Viz:
"I hope that in Egypt there can be a transition toward a more democratic system without a break from President Mubarak, who in the West, above all in the United States, is Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-53669794702756439922011-02-04T10:12:00.000-08:002011-02-04T10:13:13.726-08:00Men Just Shouldn't Strip
I'm not saying there aren't any women out there who enjoy a good ole-fashioned heterosexual strip-tease, but what I am saying is I've never met one. So I have to assume those types of women are rare.
Mostly, male strippers work bachelorette parties (aka the most boring parties ever) and the girls get really drunk and red in the face and pretend like they are enjoying what is happening, when Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-61196369461956311042011-02-03T10:57:00.000-08:002011-02-03T10:57:39.352-08:00I Think I Won't, Thank You
Okay, so longtime friends Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston have paired together for the first time (!!!) in a please-go-to-it-on-Valentine's-Day romantic comedy called Just Go With It.
Could that title be any more on-the-nose?
All you need to know, America, is that Jennifer Aniston, Adam Sandler, and some hot chick in a bikini are in a new movie where some schlub has to decide which sexy Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-25141763026654540642011-02-01T15:35:00.000-08:002011-02-01T15:37:15.856-08:00We Haven't Talked About Dorks Enough LatelyIf you're a middle-aged man who loves trikes, you'll love the Uno!
If you believe every famous actress/actor/musician/model--and I do, unequivocally--they each used to be "such a big dork in high school."
So, clearly, all the dorks grow up to be sexy, cool, and rich...okay...but what becomes of the meatheads who major in football/cheerleading and minor in autoshop/blowjobs-under-the-bleachers, Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-28397819336080731552011-02-01T11:55:00.000-08:002011-02-01T11:56:54.631-08:00Don't We All, Christian. Don't We All...
_Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-36399340477552222012011-02-01T11:50:00.000-08:002011-02-01T11:50:12.534-08:00Gwyneth Paltrow Finally Gets Her DueYes, she sometimes has a penis; she's that talented.
In a ceremony presided over by Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth II this morning in the throne room at Windsor Castle, everybody's favorite shining star Gwyneth Paltrow received what is heretofore considered the United Kingdom's highest honor--the title of 'Renaissance Woman.'
Since I know you are all wondering, yes--QEII was looking Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-75284782027275937092011-01-27T09:14:00.000-08:002011-01-27T09:15:37.259-08:00Laser CatsIf you've never blinded a pilot with one of these, you have not lived
This just in from our affiliates at Huffington Post:
An extremely powerful laser cannon has gone missing. The device is worth an estimated $12,000, and authorities suspect foul play.
Railroads use lasers like this one to measure the length and straightness of rails.
Police spokesman Ryan Grelle said that Denton detectives Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-13282281900409468182011-01-24T19:47:00.000-08:002011-01-24T19:47:20.312-08:00Nine-to-Fives Aren't for Everybody
Office Worker Goes Absolutely Insane - Watch more Funny Videos
(Courtesy Break.com)
I can totally relate to that guy, except for how easily his co-workers were able to take him down.
_Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-59980245102131157432011-01-21T13:11:00.000-08:002011-01-21T13:11:42.724-08:00Breaker: City More Boring Than Sacramento Discovered Apparently the only building in West Sacramento
If you thought Sacramento was boring, wait til you get a load of West Sacramento.
Founded in 1987, when all the coolest cities were founded, West Sacramento boasts a population of over 44,000 bored-to-death souls and the alleged 'Best Milkshakes in the Region.'
But don't take my word for it--take that of seven-term mayor Christopher Cabaldon:
Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-66607545888489315262011-01-21T12:30:00.000-08:002011-01-21T12:30:38.965-08:00Elton John Spends a Scary Amount of Coolness Currency Date-Raping "Gnomeo and Juliet" into Existence
Despite whoring himself out to Rush Limbaugh for $1 million and not releasing a good album for a hundred years or so, Elton still has enough coolness currency left over from his seven consecutive number-one albums in the United States and putting the Pope in his fucking place to deserve his place in the sun.
Barely.
Where did he spend all this coolness in such a hurry? On this giant smelly Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-7609717759194385222011-01-17T14:21:00.000-08:002011-01-17T14:21:49.676-08:00Visual ChocolateA few photographs from American-cum-Frenchie William Klein, for your pleasure this Monday afternoon:
All images copyright William Klein
_Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-24025209868480522382011-01-17T12:20:00.000-08:002011-01-17T12:20:08.920-08:00The News Just Keeps Getting Worse
Courtesy Huffington Post:
There's a mysterious phenomenon in which some men, immediately after having an orgasm, come down with a flu-like illness. Now Dutch scientists are saying these men may be allergic to their own semen.
The condition is known as post-orgasmic illness sydrome, or POIS.
Waldinger also identified a treatment for POIS, known as hyposensitisation, which essentially Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-80620693194037718432011-01-11T12:01:00.000-08:002011-01-11T12:01:00.393-08:00What's Going on in Minsk These Days? (Photo courtesy Oleg Babinets)
Volume 1 of a new series concerning the various goings-on in Minsk, Belarus:
Sure we've all wanted to get lost in the new 22-story National Library built in 2006, attend a performance at the National Academic Big Opera and Ballet Theatre, explore the extensive trolleybus network, frolic in the vast primeval forest on a summer's day, and freeze our dicks/tits off Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-82894196520974882992011-01-11T12:00:00.000-08:002011-01-11T12:00:01.715-08:00Rolling the Youtube DiceHere is a shortish clip that may or may not be from an episode of the Australian television show A Current Affair, which may or may not be a serious news program (verifiable information is scant):
Reminds me of a Monty Python sketch that never aired. Michael Palin hosting John Cleese would have been funnier, but points to these chaps for making a go of it.
_Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-46408285517942584402011-01-10T16:44:00.000-08:002011-01-10T18:24:02.232-08:00Happy International Ladyboy Day!Ladyboys on parade in a village outside Dayton, Ohio
BANGKOK, Thailand (Nothing is Sacred) - As the hard-working citizens of the Thai capitol prepare to bedazzle the salivating world media with the ornate costumes, navel jewelry, porcelain skin, and narrow hips that have skyrocketed ladyboys to the heights of fame, it is important to take a step back and remember why it is that people the worldGoodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-61034128708437573372011-01-10T15:18:00.000-08:002011-01-10T15:18:10.340-08:00It's Hard Out There for a Pirate
The ongoing saga of the Pirates Off the Horn of Africa (soon to be a best-selling trilogy of books/movies/video games aimed at the tween market, followed closely by a Broadway musical/traveling-ice-capade tandem to milk the parents dry until the remakes begin production) has just gotten a tad more interesting with the introduction of the sexiest thing in the world: lasers.
This just in from myGoodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-87282117802794236252011-01-09T23:39:00.000-08:002011-01-09T23:39:22.920-08:00Dear Internet: You Have Reached a New Low
Milestones are meant to be reached, right? Congratulations, Internet--that is the only bright side I can see in this travesty:
That piece of garbage was viewed 126,558,675 before I ever heard of it. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
There's no way around the fact that I feel dumber for having seen it, I worry that some innocent people out there might have seen it and unwisely viewed it Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-52304112190082461832011-01-09T17:50:00.000-08:002011-01-09T17:50:59.872-08:00The Most Interesting Man in the World?
There was once a Dutchman named Robert Wolders. He was born in Rotterdam in September of 1936, to a man and a woman, although if you asked her, the woman did most of the work.
In 1965, Mr. Wolders became an actor, starred briefly in a TV show, but never achieved much success. By 1975, he decided to retire from acting and marry legendary Hollywood nutjob Merle Oberon.
Below are more than a few Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-9794612963700577652011-01-08T11:33:00.000-08:002011-01-08T11:33:29.520-08:00Get a Room, Dawgs!
Can't wait to catch Sissyboy Slapfight Vol.2 once these bad-ass nigs are able to lick each other's wounds for a spell!
_Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-41066882549905339602011-01-06T19:38:00.000-08:002011-01-06T19:38:23.762-08:00Proof There Is No God?
"Ted Haggard to bounce back from that whole male-hookers and meth thing with a reality show." This Onion A/V Club article is well-worth a read.
And this article about Larry the Cable Guy's new show on the History Channel is just sad.
To cheer yourself up, read David Cross' 'Open Letter to Larry the Cable Guy' once more and put that smile back on your face for a while...oh, wait--the website heGoodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-27332992814638382562011-01-06T19:22:00.000-08:002011-01-10T15:19:22.342-08:00Found It: The Cover of My Autobiography
Not bad, eh? Looks like not only a great impulse buy at the grocery counter, but a real page-turner to boot.
Hitting shelves in fall 2039, after a relaxing summer of editing/swimming with my breathtaking ghostwriter up and down the Amalfi Coast.
Donations encouraged.
_Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-62526422902109928982011-01-06T19:01:00.000-08:002011-01-06T19:21:03.998-08:00Okay, Mmm, Hold On, Back This Circus Train Up Just a Minute...
The 'Homeless Guy with a Golden Voice' video that has been tearing up the webwaves this week features a homeless guy who doesn't sing?
Turns out everybody's favorite hero, Ted Williams (no relation to the now less-famous asshole baseball player), was not just some tragic homeless guy who found his resolve in teaching himself to sing the paint off a barn, but rather a homeless former radio Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-37722042412723684932011-01-05T09:55:00.000-08:002011-01-05T09:55:25.178-08:00Happy New Year to Those Less-Fortunate Men Out There
Like this guy.
And this guy:
(courtesy Getty Images)
And this guy:
And especially this guy:
I hope things get better for all of you this year, but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you. Or, wait a minute--I probably would...til I pass out while reclining in a bubble bath.
Hell can't be any worse, right? Might as well give it a shot.
_Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-25810788013630436502011-01-05T00:21:00.000-08:002011-01-05T00:23:01.411-08:00A Donkey for Best Supporting Actor?
The Oscars are not that far away, guys. What I'm trying to say here is that before all you nerds go home to fill out your Oscar pools this weekend while laying low with mud facials, martinis, and pre-awards-season bacne treatments, I think you should keep in mind this hot little tip: a donkey should have at least been nominated for a Best Supporting Actor Award in 1966, but tragically was not Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-15358089390577004352011-01-04T09:39:00.000-08:002011-01-04T09:39:33.337-08:00Vince James? Who knew these guys both had such perfect skin?
A mere glance at the poster for the new Vince Vaughn/Kevin James waste-of-time The Dilemma on my way to the sulphur mines this morning confirms what I have feared for a while now--Kevin James and Vince Vaughn have fused their hands together and are spinning around in circles laughing at each other's stale jokes as crumbs tumble from their Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-2133164446226269532010-12-24T22:08:00.000-08:002010-12-24T22:08:17.651-08:00Cocaine is Good for What Ails You Since everybody is always asking me about the history of Coca-Cola, here you go--courtesy of the fine folks at wikipedia:
Fascinating History In-Brief
"The prototype Coca-Cola recipe was formulated at the Eagle Drug and Chemical Company, a drugstore in Columbus, Georgis by John Pemberton, originally as a coca wine called Pemberton's French Wine Coca. He may have been inspired by the Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-40743865785219689842010-12-24T21:38:00.000-08:002010-12-24T21:38:38.657-08:00The Most Difficult Gift to Buy This Christmas
Tickle-Me Elmo, eat your f***ing heart out--first Amazon pulls the book for some reason and now Phillip Greaves just sold his last copy of The Pedophile's Guide to Love & Pleasure to the Sheriff of Polk County, Florida.
How are all those lovers out there supposed to get their hands on what everybody wants this holiday season? Who the hell do they have to molest to get a self-published Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-40473119344396596612010-12-19T01:15:00.000-08:002010-12-19T01:16:09.779-08:00Estimated Market Price of a Rental Baby in Johannesburg
Is three dollars per day, according to the Harper's Index in the Jan.2011 issue.
Who rents these babies, you ask? Why, panhandlers, of course! Who else would you rent your defenseless baby to? It makes perfect sense--the panhandlers rent these babies to increase their daily wages by preying on sympathetic strangers and I guess the cost outweighs the benefit or there wouldn't be a market for it.Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-8606297435870931732010-12-08T02:41:00.000-08:002010-12-08T02:41:03.014-08:00I Think I Know Who Should Accidentally Die Next, Oh Just and Mighty LordLadies and gentlemen of the void, I hereby encourage you to feast your eyes on the most smug little *%^&@$# I've seen in a looooong time and then thank everybody you meet for the rest of your life that you were not cursed with her as your mother/sister/daughter/wife/self. Unless you were. [Sorry--but we won't take anything back and you know we shouldn't. -Ed.]
Once again--thank you, Katie Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-33513268458615040782010-12-04T03:02:00.000-08:002010-12-04T03:02:14.109-08:00People in Mexico Must Be Afraid of Being Fed to Dogs for No Reason At All
The somehow-always-escalating violence in Mexico over the last decade has just got to stop being so crazy. Thankfully, despite their brutality, our era's thugs still pale in comparison to both the brutal conquistadors and the psychopathic tyrants they supplanted, but still--come on.
It's like Mexico is an episode/season of Breaking Bad--the best show on television--so no matter how bad you Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-36714964993813443062010-11-25T21:42:00.000-08:002010-11-25T21:42:56.108-08:00Crazy HouseLooks like somebody in Vietnam caught a case of the Gaudis (see his Casa Batllo) and designed himself a regular Crazy House (see below). Elsewhere in the world, the crazy had nothing to do with Gaudi (maybe), but the buildings are just as fascinatingly beautiful.
CrazyHouse in Dalat, Vietnam, found here
CrazyHouse (street view?) in Dalat, Vietnam, found here
CrazyHouse2 in Ramat-Gan, Tel Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-63186102596956455652010-11-12T00:05:00.000-08:002010-11-12T00:06:07.519-08:00So THIS Is Where Decolletage Leads You...
Anyway, so there I was casually using the term decolletage in a sentence and the next thing I know, I'm knee-deep in a Wikipedia-driven fantasy world, in complete disbelief at what I am seeing, imagining what it would be like for a 12-year-old boy to cruise the internet and discover all kinds of weird shit he probably assumes all adults are into.
Case in point (click image to enlarge or click Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-40270021729183766152010-11-11T12:34:00.000-08:002010-11-11T12:34:09.563-08:00An Open Letter to Teenagers Everywhere
Kids today really need to get tougher skins or they'll all be dead in five years and the world as we know it will slowly draw to a close, Children of Men-style.
A 14 year-old girl hangs herself because the friends of her alleged rapist were tormenting her?
Numerous high-school kids killing themselves because kids make fun of their sexuality?
Kids so afraid to go to school because they are Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-41927599116804345992010-11-11T10:17:00.000-08:002010-11-11T10:36:06.114-08:00It's 11/11--Make a Wish!
Here, I'll start off and then you can just ignore this entry and get back to taking pictures of your cats:
I wish I had a huge, sturdy oceangoing vessel to travel the world aboard indefinitely, with enough room for a rotating supply of friends and family to join me for segments of the lifelong voyage, a competent and good-natured crew to do all the work of actually piloting/maintaining the shipGoodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-23315527959144660092010-11-10T11:28:00.000-08:002010-11-10T11:28:50.275-08:00Gotta Love the Gamer Geeks (Sometimes)This is one of those times:
[Thanks, Tomfoolery!]
_Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-63674165349773838522010-11-10T10:28:00.000-08:002010-11-10T11:05:06.133-08:00Womb-Like Slumber Guaranteed--For a Price
This room at the Conrad (as in Hilton) Maldives Rangali Island looks pretty sweet, as long as a whale doesn't bump into it in the middle of the night or a hurricane doesn't throw a yacht at it.
Arrive at our Maldives hotel in style in a seaplane over the lagoon, dine in the world's first all-glass, undersea restaurant and indulge in luxurious spa therapies.
Sited in a picturesque corner of Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-66648189043769571292010-11-08T21:42:00.000-08:002010-11-08T21:42:24.466-08:00He's Back, Baby!
Yes, this is a real movie--directed by Jodie Foster, no less (discuss).
Yes, it was shot before (some of) that shit went down.
Yes, the notecard says something else on the real poster.
Yes, much like the man himself this project was a bad idea from the instant it was conceived.
Yes, you will probably see it with your family this holiday season and/or receive it on BluRay from a friend as a Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-13301391716120315202010-11-07T22:27:00.000-08:002010-11-08T13:42:44.176-08:00Just the Facts, Ma'am
Fact: The Colored Bartender in The Palm Beach Story was played by a man who called himself Snowflake.
For this and many other reasons, I find it hard to imagine what it would have been like to be alive in 1942. Others reasons include having to wear a wool suit all the time, hats, hair oil, the everpresent cloud of cigarette smoke, propriety, World War II, racism, and the absence of rock'n'roll.Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-1427858895586338772010-11-05T03:06:00.000-07:002010-11-05T03:06:32.943-07:00NOW! That's What I Call a Church, Vol.1
Sagrada Familia, in Barcelona
Designed lovingly by the great Gaudi
127 years in the making and still unfinished
Still waiting for me to find my bride, I suppose
Or is it me who's waiting?
_Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-7883029542769813692010-11-05T02:45:00.000-07:002010-11-05T02:52:59.675-07:00Welcome to Los Angeles, 2010
"Take a letter. To yourself.
"Here we go:
"I think everybody strolling the web who would click on this link below (either of them, actually) should be sent to a page where they are instructed to turn their ovens on and put their heads inside them.
"Whatever cog-in-the-wheel schmo we hire to write the copy for the webpage we should have this headline redirect to should make liberal use of Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-52595406929264245332010-11-04T00:50:00.000-07:002010-11-04T20:53:20.250-07:00This Is How Uncool I AmDoes this look cool to you?
I cannot imagine why it would ever be something to do, but apparently in England people like to get together and consume spoonfuls of powdered caffeine at parties.
Huh? Wha?
Recognize:
Last week, according to AOL Health, it came to light that Michael Lee Bedford, [a] British man, died after consuming "spoonfuls" of caffeine powder at a party with friends. AOL Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-63063469539908359882010-11-04T00:13:00.000-07:002010-11-04T00:17:15.018-07:00Oh, to be young and feel like your opinion matters...
Huh. I wonder what the map would look like regarding issues such as gay marriage, ending wars, health care, taxes, and the legalization of pot.
Would it seem as crowded as the National Mall when Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert took to the stage last Saturday?
Only one way to find out...
"Internet--somebody get to work on those maps, okay?"
We might be missing out on a giant social trend goingGoodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-66354883888714069862010-11-03T23:48:00.000-07:002010-11-03T23:50:31.941-07:00Don't Forget to Vote Today, Democrats!
Now that the Republicans have cast all those votes for every Representative up for election, it is time for the Democrats to take their turn.
Don't be intimidated by how many votes you will need to defeat the Party of No or by how many people tell you the polling place is no longer accepting votes--JUST DO YOUR CIVIC DUTY and get Democrats into office.
Why? Well, because although most of them Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-83157064797107969792010-11-02T12:20:00.000-07:002010-11-02T12:20:58.449-07:00Little Girls Getting OwnedI know I will one day be gleefully banished to Hell by a vengeful God for laughing at these videos every time I see them, but I just can't help myself--they're hilarious.
Little Girl Owned by Trampoline:
Little Girl Owned by Swing:
Little Girl Owned by Bench:
And THAT'S why you don't put floppy hats on your little girls, parents!
Little Girl Owned by Soccer Ball:
Little Girl Owned by Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-49872182638987915562010-11-01T16:58:00.000-07:002010-11-04T21:16:17.650-07:00Scratch THIS, A$$hole...If you thought Balloon Boy's Dad was crazy before (like when he faked that his son was up in a balloon at 7000 ft. for hours in an attempt to get a reality TV show), wait til you check out his latest invention, which unfortunately involves a lot of shouting:
Am I the only one who realizes how smooth that thing looks--how could it possibly compete with the scratching monster that is bark?
Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-5046498330531920782010-10-30T12:27:00.000-07:002010-10-30T12:27:48.886-07:00Sometimes It's HardBreaking things like a karateman isn't always as easy as it looks when somebody does it successfully.
Just ask this dude, who appears to try the feat for the first time in front of a crowd with at least one video camera and no doubt an arsenal of snarky comments:
I just hope that poor Cobra Kai runt had enough meth in his gi to see him home before he got beaten-up by a gang of bored 12 Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-84291447265947203682010-10-28T16:36:00.000-07:002010-10-28T16:36:41.354-07:00All the World Loves a LoverFor your viewing pleasure, here is an old Japanese cologne commercial made by the director of Hausu, starring Charles Bronson:
What a crazy piece of shit, eh? I would love to have been a fly on the wall during the meeting where the director explained his vision to the ad agency and client.
"Okay, so...he's in a candle-lit bar by himself, making love to a black piano player with his eyes. AfterGoodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-28962747104655632432010-10-21T22:02:00.000-07:002010-10-21T22:03:11.027-07:00DUIs Suck
I'm sure those guys all did some bad shit, but you know those guards are pricks.
I guess they deserve each other.
_Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-71181130858288872112010-10-21T11:45:00.000-07:002010-10-21T11:45:48.941-07:00Racists on Youtube Do the Darnedest Things
The Youtubes makes people famous--there's no way around that, it is one of the few truths in this world, so deal with it the same way that you deal with the fact that there will always be racist assholes waving Confederate flags, laughing at Larry the Cable Guy, and preaching religion and family values as they secretly give non-gay handjobs to random men in the bathroom of the gas station by theGoodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-80945311432260899002010-10-21T01:03:00.000-07:002010-10-21T01:06:46.024-07:00Inside Job
I have been covering the financial sector for quite some time now, as the sole correspondent for Tell It Like It Is News, so the facts, figures, and villains on display in Charles Ferguson's Inside Job were hardly new to me. I know what happened, I know who did it, and I know exactly why--greed.
With that in mind, there were a few moments I felt the movie dragged (1h45m felt like 2h30m), but Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-83574374154655671472010-10-19T16:05:00.000-07:002010-10-21T00:39:40.932-07:00Return to Serfdom
How do you know your job sucks? When they attach semi-permanent suicide nets to your employee housing:
Foxconn Technology Group — the Taiwanese company that manufactures hardware for Apple, Dell, HP, Nokia and Sony and has been hit by a dozen suicides at its plants this year — is holding rallies at all of its factories to raise morale. The theme? “Treasure Your Life, Love Your Family, Care Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-66147904231707460122010-10-19T01:35:00.000-07:002010-10-19T01:35:58.946-07:00Like Mother, Like TrashAva Sambora, daughter of Heather Locklear (right) and Richie Sambora
Yes, she is too young to be dressed like that in public (13).
Yes, that is totally appropriate clothing to wear as a model in a fashion show for a clothing label called White Trash Beautiful.
Yes, that is a clothing line run by her father.
Yes, her mom's face never moves.
The world sure is a messed-up place. But at least Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-86382930600048541122010-10-19T01:08:00.000-07:002010-10-19T01:08:05.774-07:00Message Received
This just in from the Mexican front, via Huffington Post:
Violence peaked in Tijuana in 2008 amid a showdown between two crime bosses – Fernando "The Engineer" Sanchez Arellano and Teodoro "El Teo" Garcia Simental, a renegade lieutenant who rose through the ranks by dissolving bodies in vats of lye. Garcia was arrested last January. While killings have continued, the most gruesome displays Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-24965512688528461662010-10-16T17:39:00.000-07:002010-10-16T17:39:24.882-07:00For Your Consideration:Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-40332183810014262062010-10-16T17:36:00.000-07:002010-10-20T22:44:35.720-07:00Why Do All These Damn Coal Miners Keep Getting Themselves in So Much Trouble?
Remember back in April when all those miners blew themselves to bits in West Virginia, in a misguided attempt to get the CEO of Massey Energy in trouble with some of his elected employees?
Remember more recently when those 33 Chilean coal miners made their tunnel collapse and played hooky from work by hiding underground for 69 frustrating days?
Well, now it seems some Chinese Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-59710682539550003102010-10-12T15:00:00.000-07:002010-10-12T15:00:03.338-07:00Remember!
_Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-35964044218548892902010-10-12T12:04:00.000-07:002010-10-12T12:04:12.349-07:00Yet Again, Religion Makes People Stupid
It wasn't that long ago that Bernie Madoff was busted duping his fellow Jews with impossibly high returns on investments. Greed and misplaced faith were their downfall.
Now it's the Christians' turn:
"It was a good place where Christians would be investing in the work of other Christians," said Karen Lamb, a 55-year-old Terre Haute, Ind, housewife.
More than five years later, the Lambs Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-37845752446764742592010-10-11T20:22:00.000-07:002010-10-11T20:28:40.563-07:00The (Near) Future of Sex?
Imagine a world where people couldn't masturbate.
I'm talking about men and women here, remember, because women do it, too, whether they are as forward about it or not.
So, in this fantastical world that may only be two years in our future, imagine that, for whatever reason, there is now no masturbation in our genetic coding. Anything other than vaginal/anal/oral intercourse is not going to Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-57645629005589676032010-10-10T16:14:00.000-07:002010-10-10T19:43:02.167-07:00Abilify Your Life Today
Abilify is a drug made by Bristol-Myers Squibb that is used to treat schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.
But, let's face it, that's a limited market (read: limited profits), so the greedy assholes over at BMS decided to widen the pool a bit by shifting gears and pushing it as an add-on drug to treat depression.
Because, naturally, if everybody wasn't already depressed (they are), they would beGoodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-29544999707548234222010-10-10T13:37:00.000-07:002010-10-10T13:37:39.244-07:00Hungary: The Louisiana of Europe
Imagine living in a village in Hungary, sitting in the town pub eating some hearty goulash, and drinking some fine draft ale after a hard day's work in the mines, when a river of toxic sludge suddenly floods your town and burns you alive before dumping into the Danube River and spreading across Europe.
Sound like a nightmare? Well, it is and it isn't:
KOLONTAR, Hungary — The wall of a Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-67088211688549725812010-10-10T00:16:00.000-07:002010-10-10T00:17:04.231-07:00Too Right
_Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-22054387289973624492010-10-09T21:33:00.000-07:002010-10-09T21:36:10.380-07:00Smooth MovesWell done, YAK Films:
I wonder how Sir David Attenborough would narrate that?
_Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-73882594097778660522010-10-09T16:18:00.000-07:002010-10-09T16:22:23.070-07:00Of Gilligans and Mary Ann
For those of you out there obsessed with Lost, Survivor, and Gilligan's Island (so many of you out there, I know--GET YOUR OWN WEBSITE ALREADY!), or who haven't been able to shake Lord of the Flies out of their head since high school (mostly because it's the only good book they ever finished), get ready for this fascinating (and true) tale as old as time, courtesy of this strange but informativeGoodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-84871897768554016512010-10-09T16:16:00.000-07:002010-10-09T16:16:54.156-07:00The Hottest Waste of Time in Years!Question: In what manner are the pictures on the right better than those on the left?
Correct Answer: No manner. I cannot think of one possible reason why somebody would ever want an image to show less skin in order to increase arousal. The best possible matte to place on either of the images above would be one shaped exactly the size of the bathing suit--no more, no less--but that would be a Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-2064476800758558902010-10-08T00:31:00.000-07:002010-10-08T00:31:35.204-07:00There is Nothing to FearThis just in:
(courtesy Videogum)
I have to admit--I was secretly elated to hear this news. I've been seriously worried about this shit since like October, thought the end of the world (as we know it) was nigh.
So...champagne anyone? I stockpiled just in case and now it will all go bad before I would ever want to finish it by myself in a non-apocalypse situation.
I shouldn't give my address outGoodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-7190412355864739852010-10-07T18:00:00.000-07:002010-10-07T18:05:54.655-07:00Things Were So Much Simpler Then. And Uglier. Probably.
Ah, nostalgia...how I long for you...sometimes.
Like whenever I try to remember what life was like when I was 6 and I realize I might as well try to reminisce about the Big Bang.
As much as I love to long for the far-from-perfect-but-certainly-less-complicated, artistically-vibrant world that I never experienced in the 1960s/70s, try as I might it is impossible for me to romanticize my actual Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-40374376296881097912010-10-01T14:08:00.000-07:002010-10-01T14:08:38.157-07:00Rivers Cuomo is Officially a Jackass
If the results of Rivers Cuomo's ill-fated decision to use an equation he distilled after studying the music of numerous successful songwriters to replicate infinite variations of the perfect pop song weren't bad enough--the Green album, Maladroit, Make Believe, the Red album, Raditude (really?)--trixie pixie sellout Cuomo just shot the moon with his latest aural turd, Hurley.
In case you were Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-8750623291896674422010-09-21T12:32:00.000-07:002010-09-21T12:59:43.045-07:00Old News: Vatican Corrupt
The world's smallest city-state is in the news once again and, once again, hopes its ridiculously inappropriate Foreign-Sovereign Immunity (which absolves it of all responsibility for child sexual abuse cases in the United States, fyi) will allow it to do whatever it wants while thumbing its nose at the peculiar secular world, where actions have consequences.
VATICAN CITY — Italian authorities Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-6195974225244927032010-09-17T14:07:00.000-07:002010-09-17T14:07:28.541-07:00Stupid Whore Class is in session
"Our backs ache, our skirts are too tight, we shake our booties from left to right."
This is the controversial cheer that a Michigan cheerleader's mother objected to recently. This objection got her daughter kicked off the squad and straight onto the stage of Good Morning America.
The kicker: The former cheerleader is only 6 years old.
SIX YEARS OLD!
For whom do six-year-olds cheer? Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-2114526179547127652010-09-17T13:49:00.000-07:002010-09-17T13:49:14.860-07:00The Dark Side of YoutubeFor every Scarlet Takes a Tumble and Fat Dad Falls Off Skateboard, there is always a video that makes you stop laughing uncontrollably at the misfortunes of others and reminds you of the frightening power of the Dark Side.
This is one of those videos:
(Thanks, Videogum!)
Shock and awe, folks. Shock and awe.
_Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-30596485527013873432010-09-17T12:26:00.000-07:002010-09-17T12:26:10.763-07:00Who Doesn't Love a Psychologically-Damaged, Overly-Vain Mystery Bride?
The end is nigh, folks, as this will be coming to your television screen before you can stop it:
The [E!] network is set to announce "Bridalplasty," where brides-to-be compete in wedding-themed challenges to win extensive surgical procedures.
Each week, a group of women competes head-to-head in such challenges as writing wedding vows and planning honeymoons. The winner receives the chance to Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-31083304808161391282010-09-17T11:09:00.000-07:002010-09-17T11:09:54.861-07:00United States v. Muslims: By the Numbers(courtesy The Atlantic)
Just goes to show you that, despite our wealth and military muscle, we are but a moon orbiting the Muslim planet, and we should remember that as we spend trillions of dollars and end tens of thousands of lives chasing down the smallest enemy fighting force we have ever faced.
So take a step back, warmongers, hide your misspelled vitriol for a moment, and start taking up aGoodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4684935600332692129.post-24222306571957901342010-09-11T21:10:00.001-07:002010-09-11T21:10:54.152-07:00AIDS = Hitler
_Goodtime Charliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08681622125802064099noreply@blogger.com0